The Parting: A Heavy Heart

Excitement overflowed when Bob heard Samantha’s voice on the phone.  After initial pleasantries, he blurted out, “I’ve missed you and want you to know that I love you.”  There was a moment of silence.  Samantha tried to compose herself.  Finally, she said, “I waited a long time to hear you say that.”


For the briefest of moments, Bob was happy to hear her reply but something in the manner it was uttered revealed it wasn’t meant in a positive light.  He felt tightness in his chest.  Was that his heart breaking?  Samantha continued, “I need more time.  I have a lot of things going on in my life.  Oh, I should let you know that I’m moving to another apartment.  I just need to make changes in her life and I think the apartment is a good start. 


Silence hung in the air until Bob finally got the courage to ask, “Does that mean we are no longer dating?”


"Not necessarily.  I just want a little more time.  I had a chance to review my life and I’m still trying to sort through things.” 


“How long do you need?”


“I don’t know.  A week, two weeks.”


Bob could only think about how hard it would be to hang in limbo like that when Samantha added, “I feel I deserve some time don’t you?  I think that is the least you could do.” 


Her words burned his ears and heart.  Samantha moved to end the call and Bob made to effort to protest or say the things he had rehearsed.  Instead, like he determined in his heart when he repented of his sins, he decided to take in the pain.  He would savor it for all it was. 


It was a difficult and trying week.  There was no contact between the two of them.  Bob poured his heart out to God.  He complained that he didn’t understand why this was happening unless he was reaping what he had sown.  Just when he was ready to make things right with her and have a real and meaningful relationship, why would she put this wall up now?  All he heard in reply was silence or his own voice saying he deserved it. 


After a week, Bob felt desperation welling up inside.  He had to see her.  He got in his car and drove to her apartment.  Surely, she hadn’t moved already but he had his doubts.  The weather was pleasant and Samantha had the windows open when he arrived.  He felt like an idiot sneaking to the back of the building but he had to see her.  He looked at Samantha through the window.  God, she was beautiful.  His heart was bursting.  He wanted to cry.  He stepped closer to the window and softly called her name.


Samantha stopped and cocked her head.  She wasn’t sure she actually heard someone say her name.  He called her again.  She stood and walked to the window.  She smiled when she saw him and invited him in.  She seemed genuinely happy to see Bob and it made him so happy.  His emotions were raw after a week of uncertainty. 


She told him about her time away.  She mentioned that she saw an old boyfriend.  Bob felt darkness settle over him.  She talked about how romantic he was and how he tried to win her back.  She mentioned how he romanticized her socks off.  “And your pants, too, I bet.” Bob thought to himself.  He wanted to punch the guy. 


After they finished talking, Bob went home.  While he wanted to despair, Samantha made it seem that there was still a reason for hope.  Driving home he prayed about hope.  He prayed that that one sliver of hope would be sufficient.  He prayed Samantha would choose him and not her past.  He truly believed her future was brighter when the two of them were together.