Shorties: 77

Miles and Bob went to their respective homes for the night and Jenny settled into her old bedroom.  Thoroughly spent, Nick walked into his room.  His eyes rested on the bed where Gwen died 18 hours before.  Even when you know death is imminent, there is no amount of preparation that helps you cope with the loss of a loved one.  Losing a loving spouse after 30 years of marriage felt like the mountains crashing down.

 

Bitter pain and numbness fill Nick and his breathing became mournful gasps.  He no longer felt the need to mask his pain as he did when the kids were present.  Nevertheless, the torrent of sobs that screamed for release were held in check by a hidden force.  Instead, tears welled up and his body shook for only a moment.  There was nothing more.  Like dry heaves, the episode repeated itself four more times.  Then it stopped altogether.

 

Nick considered showering but decided against it.  Like one with nothing to live for, life lost all reason.  What was the point of bathing?  His wife was gone.  Instead, he went to the toilet to relieve himself.  Rather than stand to urinate, Nick pulled down his pants and plopped onto the toilet seat.  Even when the stream of urine stopped, Nick continued sitting. The longer he was alone the more life seemed to leave him. He just didn’t care any more.  Suddenly, he heard Gwen walking into the bathroom with the labored breaths she had in her last days.  

 

Nick turned to see her but saw nothing.  He continued looking at the door in anticipation but she wasn’t there.  While he saw nothing, he still heard Gwen breathing and her footfalls.  Nick zipped up his pants and walked to the door, peering into the bedroom.  Nothing. Suddenly, Nick felt wholly, completely alone.  It was like a bitter wind sweeping through him.  Nick was struck with the thought his life would never be the same.  Everything he knew about life could only be seen with the knowledge he was a widow.  All of life was different now that Gwen was dead.  A part of him died too. 

July 24 Thought of the Day

 

When you grieve it is equal parts emotional and physical

Bailey’s Last Day

 

Bailey’s last day

She awoke and grandpa had to carry her downstairs. She didn’t eat breakfast for a few hours but ate all of her favorite food. When Silas (grandma and grandpa’s grandson) came, she wasn’t too interested but she seemed to perk up a little after that. She went in the back yard and did her business. 

Grandpa threw, from about 1 foot away, the paper towel cardboard a couple times. She didn’t catch it but enjoyed it. Then she chewed on it a little and grandma threw it but she caught from her. Later, she licked Silas’s feet. Grandma cleaned off his feet. Grandpa put on the leash and she went out the front door and sniffed a while. Then they went back inside. 

About this time a UPS truck came and she barked at it. Later, grandpa gave Bailey some Quaker Oat Squares as treats and she gobbled them up. Aunt Brittany visited a bit and petted her. One of the last things she did before she went to doggy heaven was go for a ride. Grandpa put the leash on, helped her get up, and she walked out to the car. Grandpa put her in and she laid down. Eventually, she stood up so she could see the cars coming and grandpa urged her to growl at a truck the was coming. When she did it caused her pain and she yelped. She patiently waited in the car with her grandparents to see the vet. 

She got to bark at the dog getting into the car next to us. It had some of the Bailey ferocity we know lol

She waited more than 50 minutes just to see the vet. Grandma and grandpa weren’t happy about that at all. When they finally said it was time to get in, grandpa lifted her out of the car and Bailey walked in on her own with energy. She sniffed along the way and even squatted to leave a big pee. Once in the room she walked around, sniffed and panted. She started to shake a little. She put her chin in grandpa’s lap and then grandma’s lap. 

When a lady finally came Bailey shook more. The lady asked a few questions and said she would take Bailey back to give her a catheter for the injections. Then she would bring her back to be with grandma and grandpa. Bailey had a lot of energy but she was very afraid. 

When the vet arrived with the needles, he got close to pet her but she snapped at him. He left and got an assistant. He also took off his lab coat. Grandma and grandpa thought that, and he long wait, might have been why she did that. Grandpa put on a muzzle and the vet gave her a sedative. It worked immediately. She started going down and grandma and grandpa tried to ease her down but her head plopped down. It was mere seconds after the lethal injection and she was gone. 😢

Since humor is one of grandpa’s coping mechanisms, he said with tears, “I guess it’s too late to change our minds.”

Bailey’s eyes remained open and her tongue out a little. The dr listened for her heart for a bit and then stopped. He said nothing other than they would leave them alone and grandpa and grandma could take as long as needed. 

Grandma and grandpa hugged, kissed, and petted Bailey. They also cried. It seemed wrong to leave her there. It also seemed strange to know Bailey wasn’t waiting for them. 

Driving home it started to rain. Grandpa thought of how rain is a blessing from God. In spite of their heavy hearts, God demonstrated His love by giving the blessing of rain. 

Ecuador Observances

 

My wife and I visited Ecuador for ten days. Every location has its own idiosyncrasies. Here are some I noted:

1.  When using public bathrooms, expect to make a payment before you leave your deposit. Normally, you will pay 15 cents to go number one and 25 cents for number 2. Also, some places you pay for toilet paper and it is only a few squares. Therefore, take some with you or snag some napkins before you leave restaurants  

2.  Men’s urinals are often open to view of all. Well, I don’t mean EVERYTHING is open to the public. I either had a small partition or small wall to block things but often you could stand behind me and watch the process from there. 

3.  The opposite sex was the bathroom money collector/attendant. My wife and I never understood that. Why not had the lady work with the women and the man with the men?

4.  Public busses try very hard to be on schedule.  They must have to prove it too.  Twice we took busses on long trips. 

There is a person at the door who collected bus fare. Also, at certain stops along the way the attendant would jump out of the bus as the driver slowed down. They ran with a time card and had it stamped in a time clock and ran back to the bus. If no customers were boarding, the driver already had the bus moving again before the attendant jumped through the door. 

5.  Bus drivers and tour guides text while driving. 

6.  Good prices are great. It was common to see bananas and mandarins sell at 20 for $1.00.  We often bought breakfast and lunch for $2.50 to $3.50 per person respectively. The price included filling meals, coffee/tea, and fresh fruit juices.  

7.  When walking the streets of Quito, watch your step. There are a lot of dogs roaming the streets and they leave their droppings everywhere. We didn’t do it but we saw many turds that were stepped on.

I will add more when I think of them.

Summer Vacation Memory

 

We were spending the night in a Cincinnati hotel en route to Washington, DC.  Back in those days, our only hotel needs were cold AC and a pool. Of course, we kids wanted to swim in the pool but mom said no.  Mom fell asleep and dad was watching the all star game. I’m sure we were bothering him. 

I should mention this is the summer my father quit smoking. He was very irritable. Also, my brother got his learner’s permit to drive the car. There was a lot of angst during this two week vacation.

For some reason I got close to my mom and said softly, “Dummy.”  Mom replied, “Mm hmm.”

I did it a few more times and she continued this response. I thought it was funny and told my sister.  She saw an opportunity. She had me ask, “Dummy, can we go swimming?”

“Mm hmm.”

We were gone in a flash. When mom woke up, she asked where we were. Dad said at the pool. In anger, she grumbled she already said we could NOT go swimming. Dad said she gave the ok. He heard it. 

I’m sure he was just happy we were gone.

2021 US Passport Renewal

 

If you need to renew your US passports this year, read my story. 

 

The passports for my wife and I expire this year in September.  Since we plan to travel to South America in June, we applied for new ones in March.  At the time, the website said it was taking 10-12 weeks to do renewals.  Little did I know there was more to it than that.

 

Since they are very important documents, I paid for tracking when they were mailed.  They arrived 2 days after they were sent.  Based on this date, I was sure we would get the new ones in time.  

 

A couple weeks later I went online and checked the status.  It said it would be at least 4 weeks before they would be logged into the system.  Also, the processing time was 10-12 weeks.  I was concerned about this.  If they were done in 10 weeks we were ok.  Not if it was 12.

 

I called the number on the website and spoke to a gentleman who stated the 10-12 week time frame was based on when I sent them in.  This seemed odd but I accepted his word.  This was about 2 weeks ago.

 

Yesterday I felt I needed to call again to ask if I should pay an additional fee to expedite the process.  After being on hold for 3 hours and 19 minutes, I finally spoke to someone.  She told me the 10-12 weeks is based on when they renewals were logged into their system.  As of the day we were speaking, she said the new passports would probably be received in late July.  Needless to say, I asked if I could do the expedited service.  

 

She stated I should do it if I want them in time.  (As of today, we leave in 3 weeks and 6 days.)  Also, she said IF (emphasis on if) they decided to accept the expedited service, they should be done within 4 weeks.  Since it seemed we had little choice, I offered my credit card to pay the fees. 

 

I should mention they will only speak to the adult for each passport.  Therefore, I had to do a 3 way call since my wife wasn’t at home.  I guess this is good for our security but it was a nuisance at the time.  My time with the phone agent was 10 minutes. 

 

I am happy to say that yesterday the application status website had USPS tracking numbers.  Oddly enough, today they don’t appear.  However, the application status is Approved.  Also, they should arrive by late next week.  (I also paid for 2 day mailing.)

 

Im simply sharing my experience in hopes someone else will have a smoother time of it. If you need to renew your US passport this year, do it sooner than later. 

May 22, 2021 at 5:10 PM

****Update**** 

The new passports arrived today. Not the old ones though. 

Sins of the Father

 

 

A floor of eggshells

No, we cannot light his fuse

He drains the bottle

 

Your mother with bruises

And brother receives his now

Yours will come in time

 

A heart of sorrow

A desire to be safe

A life full of fear

 

Abuse rains down

The chain will continue on

Sins of the father 

© February 2021

Duane Windell Phillips

I thought I would try doing haiku for this one

Shorties: 76

 

Mrs. Hughbanks continued writing on the chalkboard.  A feverous weariness enfolded Paul like a blistering coat.  With sightless eyes, he stared toward the fuzzy blob of teacher against the board.  She called out instructions as she wrote.

 

“Children, be sure to use correct spelling and punctuation.  We have been working on this for a month now.  If you aren’t sure about something, ask your parents or brothers and sisters.  Does everyone understand?”

 

A classful of third grade voices replied in unison, “Yes, Mrs. Hughbanks.”

 

But Paul’s voice wasn’t heard.  He thought he spoke but his lips only moved.  No sound was uttered.  The fever continued to burn in his body and he felt the heat in his cheeks.  The focus of his mind roamed from topic to topic as if peering through a blurred kaleidoscope.  Her voice echoed with reverb but the writing on the chalkboard was like ice skates scraping across the ice.  

 

He imagined how ice would refresh him.  Paul envisioned himself flopping to the ice and pressing his cheeks and forehead to the frosty surface.  How soothing!  So refreshing!  Then Paul felt his dog, Nicki, licking his face and giggles of delight spilled out. 

 

“What’s so funny, Paul?  Would you care to share with the class?”, Mrs. Hughbanks demanded. 

 

Paul heard the voice come from his dog, arresting the hilarity.  With bewilderment, he gazed at the canine.  With the love of a devoted pet, Nicki returned his gaze, panting.  Then the hound lunged forward, planting more licks on his cheeks and forehead.  Then Nicki said, “Oh my lands!  You’re burning up with fever.” 

 

With a burst of laughter Paul exclaimed, “What are you doing at school, boy?  You silly doggie.” 

 

With that, Mrs. Hughbanks rushed the boy to the school nurse who would contact his parents.  Though she feared it was another case of scarlet fever, she hoped and prayed that wasn’t the case. 

 

Feb 12

 In case you didn’t know, great people are born on Feb 12th. If you know one, wish them happy birthday.

On This Day

January 21, 2021

On the 21st day of the 21st year of the 21st century, my first grandbaby, Silas, was born. 

He was born in the 22nd hour and 22 days early. 

400 Years is a Long Time to Change Your Mind

For 2021 I have a goal to read through the bible.  The early chapters of Genesis never cease to make me think and wonder about early life on this planet.  In Genesis 15, God tells Abram his descendants will be like the stars in the heavens.  Abram believed God (Gen 15:6) and then God said Abram would possess the land in which he currently lived. (Gen 15:7)  At the time it was populated but others.  Then Abram expressed his doubt by saying, “Sovereign Lord, how can I know that I will gain possession of it?” (Gen 15:8)

After confessing this doubt, God later says Abram’s descendants would be enslaved for 400 years but would eventually leave with great possessions. (Gen 15:14) So here is the seed of what lies in me right now. 

 

Several times in the bible God or an angel announce some great thing to a mortal only for the receiver of the great news to express doubt.  Sometimes the doubt causes a rebuke.  Zechariah, the father of John the Baptist, had such an event.  He stated his doubt and wonder and was mute until his son’s circumcision. (Luke 1:18-20, 57-65)

 

I find it hard to accept something that is contrary to what has always been.  Imagine being a slave in Egypt.  For generations the Hebrews knew nothing but subjugation and forced labor.  Out of nowhere someone from pharaoh’s house returns to the scene and says all the slaves are to be freed.  Then life gets worse for them.  How are they to believe they will ever be anything other than a slave?

 

Imagine, for a moment, you were born 200 years into the 400 years of enslavement. You have grandparents who prayed for the day they would be free.  They pass this on to you.  They believed and prayed about freedom until they died.  You do the same.  Your children and grandchildren all hope, pray, and believe for freedom but die enslaved.  Is your belief in vain?  Are your prayers useless?  What if you are of the generation that would see the light of freedom?  Is that generation’s belief in vain?  How about their prayers?  Do you see the paradox?

 

Are the promises of God any less important to the ones who will not partake of them?  How am I supposed to believe when the declaration of an angel or God contradicts everything I know and see?  If I only know sorrow, loss, darkness, strife, barrenness, and enslavement, then astonishment and doubt are the likely and obvious reactions to the promises of God.  I’m not complaining or stating God is unjust.  I’m merely stating what is obvious to me.  That’s how my mind understands it.