Harder To Believe Than Not To

Nothing is colder than the winds of change
Where the chill numbs the dreamer till a shadow remains
Among the ruins lies your tortured soul
Was it lost there
Or did your will surrender control?

Shivering with doubts that were left unattended
So you toss away the cloak that you should have mended
Don't you know by now why the chosen are few?
It's harder to believe than not to
Harder to believe than not to

It was a confidence that got you by
When you know you believed it, but you didn't know why
No one imagines it will come to this
But it gets so hard when people don't want to listen

Shivering with doubts that you left unattended
So you toss away the cloak that you should have mended
Don't you know by now why the chosen are few?
It's harder to believe than not to

Some stay paralyzed until they succumb
Others do what they feel, but their senses are numb
Some get trampled by the pious throng
Still they limp along

Are you sturdy enough to move to the front?
Is it nods of approval or the truth that you want?
And if they call it a crutch, then you walk with pride
Your accusers have always been afraid to go outside

They shiver with doubts that were left unattended
Then they toss away the cloak that they should have mended
You know by now why the chosen are few
It's harder to believe than not to

I believe

Steve Taylor

Christmas Magic

Like most kids, Christmas was a magical day for me.  Then again, who wouldn’t like a time when you get presents?  I have one Christmas memory that stands out from all others.

In the house where I grew up, there is a basement directly under the living room.  We always set up the Christmas tree in the living room.  One year, my older brother and sister, and I decided to sleep in the basement on Christmas Eve.  It is pitch black when the lights off down there.  At some point during the night my siblings woke me from a deep sleep to say someone was upstairs.  Sure enough, I could hear someone walking around.  Somehow, the darkness seemed to heighten my sense of hearing.  I had left Santa some milk and cookies.  Then I heard the distinctive “click” noises of the cookie jar being opened and closed.  I said incredulously, “Santa’s getting into the cookie jar!”  I was thinking, “What a pig!  He wants more cookies!?!?”  We whispered excitedly to each other and after just a few more minutes, there was silence up above us.

We slowly crept upstairs.  The lights were still lit on the tree and they cast a beautiful glow in the living room.  Lo and behold there were presents waiting for us.  I was completely amazed at how Santa could do it all so quickly.  The Christmas magic was solidified in my soul that day and has stayed with me for many years. 

Awake

I’ve been living my life half asleep

And not realizing all that I keep

Just being holds so much promise

This darkness claws to hold me in

Keep me back, not let me win

A heart opened wishes not to close

Something has opened the skies

I work to rub sleep from my eyes

To live life to the fullest

The lies I want to put behind

And treasure the gold I now find

Not live my life unaware

How to be Grateful

Thanksgiving is upon us  and I can't help but consider what it means to be thankful.  I woke up this morning with the meaning of thanksgiving in mind.  I have pondered it for some time and want to share a few thoughts on the matter.

Several years ago I heard a sermon about money.  In a nutshell, people who live in North America need to understand that we are rich when compared to the rest of the world.  This wasn't a new concept to me but there were a few points that hit home.  Most people in the US have more than one television.  We have rooms for our cars.  Note that I said cars, not car.  When we have problems, it is something like our air conditioning is not working and it is getting hot in the house.  My cell phone got wet and isn't working.  Poor people don't have problems like these.  

Problems for other people in the world look more like this:  I have no roof over my head.  What will I eat today?  How can I protect my family since we live on the streets?  My child was bit by a poisonous snake and it is an all day walk to get to the nearest doctor/medical facility.   Will they survive?

How can I not be thankful when my life is so much better than theirs?  Still, I can't feel guilty for what God has given me.  By God's grace I was born here and not there.  For me it boils down to this:  The key to thankfulness is knowing what you have and thanking God for it.  When you focus on what you have you begin to see more and more of what you have and it makes you grateful.  I believe it is a cycle.  As a person who lives in the US, I can only speak to what I know having lived here my whole life.  What I see around me are people who focus on things other people own and they desire to have the same and more.  Actually, it is too often the case that they don't actually have ownership.  They borrowed in order to have and they are deep in credit card debt.  Advertising fill our eyes and hearts with desire for things and riches.  We believe riches and things will satisfy our souls.

John Fischer wrote in his book, True Believers Don't Ask Why that we live in a wet world but all the water is full of salt and, therefore, cannot satisfy us.  On the contrary, it drives us to want more.  We have to break this cycle.  We must focus on the One who provides what we have, however little we believe it to be.  Everything that we have is Christ.  Everything we don't have makes us need Him more.   I think the last 2 sentences are from John Fischer too. 

I was talking with my sister this morning and she mentioned some things about her job and some discontent she was feeling.  I mentioned she has first world problems.  She readily admits this and I told her the good thing is that she realizes she has first world problems.  She knows she is rich and she and her husband use their money in a way that honors God.  I know she is thankful for what she has.  Still, I could not help but think of scripture from Ecclesiastes that I shared with her.  I will close with the verses but want to say one last thing.

Though we will always have cares and needs and wants in life, when we live in thanksgiving and concern for the needs of others, God will keep us occupied with gladness of heart.  Therefore, find things in your life for which to be grateful and genuinely thank God for them.

This is what I have observed to be good: that it is appropriate for a person to eat, to drink and to find satisfaction in their toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given them - for this is their lot. Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil - this is a gift of God. They seldom reflect on the days of their life, because God keeps them occupied with gladness of heart.


Ecclesiastes 5:18-20


#thanksgiving #gratefulness #money #needs

 

Prayer: What I've Learned

The following are my thoughts about prayer after I challenged myself to focus on prayer for 30 days. I wrote this a couple years ago but have felt the need to share it again.

First, while I have long believed prayer was a way for us to communicate with God, I am beginning to think it is more than a means of talking.  To think of it like we are just picking up a telephone grossly underestimates prayer. 

Second, God is so overwhelmingly grand that, really, any thought of Him falls terribly short.  Nevertheless,  I truly believe that the Lord wants us to strive for Him.  Therefore, He has no issues with our puny thinking unless we never venture to learn more about Him.  Parents are excited with each new life stage of their baby.  So is God pleased with each step we take in understanding and obeying Him.

Third, the human race does not give God what He is due.  A few years ago, I heard a sermon that was about the universe and how great God is.  We are so insignificant compared to the expanse of the cosmos.  I once thought that God made it all for us to enjoy.  Now I believe that is all secondary.  What better way to show off how tremendously, overwhelmingly, stupendously great God is than to have a creation that completely blows you away.  Still, it is only a reflection of His greatness.  I remember during that sermon at one point I felt the awesomeness of God and, literally, felt so unworthy of ... God, His holiness, I'm not sure, but I felt I had to get up and leave the sermon. 

Contrary to what we deserve for our pride, God made a way for us to be with Him forever.  He wants a relationship with us.  However, due to His holiness and being all-everything He won't settle for us being half-assed in our relationship with Him.  I am sorry if anyone is offended by me saying that but I feel it needs to be said in strong terms.  God wants us to fight and struggle.  All of nature is survial of the fittest.  He wants us to wrestle with angels.  He wants the problems of life to be nothing compared to our fervor for Him.  Discouragement should not shake our faith, nor silence our prayers.  It is not in our own strength that we wrestle, nor by our own strength that we prevail. It is by strength derived from heaven. 

Jesus used a parable about prayer that illustrates God as a friend inside His house when we knock on the door with a need.  Since it is late at night and everyone is already in bed the friend tells us to go away.  That doesn't sound like the God we learn about but since Jesus' disciples wanted to be taught how to pray, Jesus must have felt it important to let us know this vital fact.  God honors those who are persistent and won't give up until God blesses them.  We are to ask until it is given.  We are to seek until we find.  We are to knock until He answers. 

Last, since God is all powerful, all knowing and everything else that He is, I'm starting to believe that our persistence honors Him.  When I think about the days when kings, pharaohs, and Caesars ruled the earth, people prostrated themselves before the king.  They had to make grand gestures to the king to be noticed and to pacify his wrath.  You could say God is narcissistic to want to be worshipped but since He really IS all that and a bag of chips, He does deserve all that we can give and more.  Jesus gave us a clue to our relationship with God.  Prayer.  Prayer is one way that we honor and glorify God.  When we persist in our praying, we show God that this is not a one sided relationship.  We take it seriously and consider it and Him the most important things in our lives. 

Success is in You

I believe we are meant to succeed.  Think about when you were little.  Did you ever picture yourself in a race or in some competition?  In your mind, who was the person who won?  Was it your best friend or worst enemy?  NO!!  YOU were the person who won.  You saw yourself as the champion, the person who was acclaimed by all.  I think this points to the fact that success is in us.  Now I’m not talking about succeeding solely to feed your ego.

Don’t narrow your vision.  Our society is competition based.  If someone wins, somebody has to lose.  True, there is only one First Place in a contest.  However, every person who accomplishes a goal in the race is a winner.  As Stewart B. Johnson said, "Our business in life is not to get ahead of others, but to get ahead of ourselves— to break our own records, to outstrip our yesterday by our today."  Improve yourself and you are successful! 

#selfimprovement

Remember Those in Prison

Hebrews 13:3  

Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body.

The purpose of this writing is to encourage you to uplift those who are in prison.  I have not been in prison before.  I don’t want to ever be sentenced to prison.  Nevertheless, I have an uncle in a prison in Georgia. 

In several verses in the bible, we are commanded to remember and tend to those in prison.  Scripture does not distinguish between the innocently imprisoned or the guilty.  We are to minister to their needs both physically and spiritually.    

How easy is it for us on the outside to forget about someone on the inside?  There is much I wish to say on this subject but let me simply state this:  If you know someone in prison, contact them ASAP.  The holidays are upon us and it is a lonely time for them.  If you cannot personally visit them, find out the rules of their facility in order to send something to them.  Start small if you need to but start now.  Then begin sending regular correspondence.  Give them something to look forward to.  Give them hope. 

The Greatest Game I Ever Witnessed: A True Soccer Story

There once was boy who wanted to play soccer.  Actually, it was because his sisters played the year before and they got new soccer balls.  He was a bit jealous.  Nevertheless, with little soccer experience he played on a team with other 9 and 10 year old boys.  He was the biggest boy on the team and possibly the most athletic.  Other boys may have had more soccer skill, but none could match the passion he brought to the game.  

The coach had him playing defense.  If you are unsure of which boy I mean, you just need to watch a game he played.  In defending his goal, he was always around the ball.  That’s where he could be found. He was sometimes criticized by his co-defender for not staying on his own side of the field.  Even the coach would need to remind him of where his position was.  

Still, when the playoffs came, his play kept other teams from scoring.  The boy’s uncle and his family came to see him play.  The boy played amazingly.  He seemed to be everywhere at once.  Besides defense, the coach used him for throw ins, corner kicks, and occasionally, goal kicks.  

The uncle, being a soccer coach, asked why he wasn’t playing offense with his leg strength and obvious aggressiveness on the field.  Another parent quickly agreed with the benefit of the boy playing offense.  However, he noted that if it weren’t for the boy’s defensive play, they would not have reached this deep into the playoffs.  

The day of the finals, there was a noon time hard fought contest that the boy’s team won.  They were to play the winner of the other game being played at an adjacent field.  This game went into double overtime.  Due to the lateness of this second game, the final match was postponed an hour for the boys to rest up.  

The first half of the championship competition was in favor of the other team.  The boy played valiantly with save after save.  However, there was a freak play when the ball deflected off his block and into his own goal to make the score 1-0.  The boy’s face reflected horror and embarrassment.  Still, there was no one on the team or any of the parents that felt any malice toward him.  They knew that if it weren’t for him the score could be 4-0.  My heart dropped but I silently urged him to forget it and keep giving his all.  The score at half-time remained at 1-0.  

The boy’s team was able to swing the pendulum in the second half.  They were always on the attack.  The offense had close shot after close shot.  The boy made block after block, steal after steal.  Nearing exhaustion, both team sparred with the determination of heavy weight boxers.  

Then came the play where the boy lost his balance a short distance from the goal.  Since he was defending the goal, the ball was right in front of him.  Unwittingly, he put his hand on the ball as he got up.  Penalty---hand ball.  The other team gets a free kick so close to the goal.  The team rallied and held their ground.  The score remained 1-0 with time slipping away.  

A mere minute later, the other team kicked the ball up and, instinctively, the boy put his hands up to protect his face.  Another hand ball.  

The boy’s face showed the tears welling up as our eyes met.  He was trying to hide his feelings, but I instantly felt every emotion rushing through his body.  I prayed to God to let me bear it for him.  He didn’t deserve this.  Not after the fervor, the effort he displayed.  It wasn’t right for someone so young to have so much talent, to play with such passion and suffer these injustices.  The boy composed himself and continued to amaze me with his abilities.  

The battle raged on as the seconds ticked down.  The fans were at a fever pitch you would be hard pressed to find at any professional title game.  Each spectator was willing their own strength, their own souls into these kids.  Both teams demonstrated supreme ability, resilience, and determination.  However, the boy’s team had the upper hand and you could see fear creeping into the eyes of the opponents.  

Everyone knew it was just a matter of time before the score would be tied.  But time was ticking away.  

Then it happened.  The whistle blew and the game was over.  He lost 1-0.  Then he collapsed to the ground in disbelief and exhaustion.  His face registered sadness, disappointment.  His chance to atone for his mistakes was gone.  Now he had to live with this game.  Our eyes met again as his tears began to fall.  My heart was broken.  Oh God, what can I say to this young man that has inspired me so?  

Parents from both teams went to tell him what a good game he played.  Trying to hide his tears, he politely thanked them.  In his drained, dehydrated state he began to feel physically sick.  After he was given plenty of fluids and a chance to rest up, the championship trophies were presented.  He received the biggest applause when his name was called.  

He has a bright future that I hope he sees.  He is one of those kids I was always jealous of growing up.  He is one of the ones that seem to have everything and can do anything.  I hope he realizes the talent he has and continues to grow it.  

To this day, I am moved when I think of this young man and the heart that he played with.  Oh, that I will live my life with such fervor.  

From a Friend

These are words I received from a friend. They moved me to tears.

I learned that God never meant for us to live a life of depression, despair and darkness.  That there is freedom in forgiving others that have wronged you.  His redeeming freedom is truly amazing.

Now, that doesn't say I don't have down days.  I do.  I still struggle with huge insecurity.  Am I really loved?  Am I really worthy of love?  Am I failure as God's child, as a wife, mom, friend, etc.  Those things still haunt me, but I've come to the overwhelming realization that those are all lies the enemy has led me to believe for so many years.  That's not how I was created.

Night Runner

To make major breakthroughs in your work and in your life, you need to take time away from your normal routine and just let yourself think. When you are wrapped up in the pressures of everyday life, it can be difficult to concentrate on what you have to accomplish, much less develop new ideas and approaches.

I've been a runner most of my life.  I am amazed at what I think about while running.  I prefer to run in the dark of night or early morning.  I don't run as far or fast as I did in my younger days and rarely, if ever, have someone to run with.  Still, I am never alone and I am amazed sometimes at how quickly I get back to the house.  Thoughts flow so quickly.

On numerous trips up and down streets and back roads, I have written short stories or poems, conceived new training programs, and developed ways to increase cash flow. I have thought up new plans to manage the house, identified topics for future speeches, and had insights into major life decisions.

It's almost a meditative state, and I only get there when I allow sufficient time to work through the overwhelming details of everyday life and finally get some conscious quality time to think about nothing at all.  That's exactly when the ideas start flowing.

In your life, do you set aside time to do nothing? Do you do what is referred to in some martial arts texts as "active inactivity"? Sometimes the best way to solve a problem or break new ground is to walk away from the issue for a while and let the answer come to you instead of chasing it. Try to make time to do nothing and watch your mind start to work for you!

His Love Was Reaching

Where should I begin to tell my thoughts
What can I say that would do
Where are the words when I need them most
To show my gratitude

Through the times I was burdened
Yet I did not fall
Through the times I was certain
There was no one at all

His love was reaching
An invisible hand pulling me through
His love was reaching
Touching my life in more ways than I ever knew

As I lay beneath the Southern Cross
The stars tell more than I could
And if the words don't say want I really mean
I pray I'm understood

When I thought I had nothing
Yet I had so much
Though the years when it seemed
We were out of touch

His love was reaching
An invisible hand pulling me through
His love was reaching

Touching my life in more ways than I ever knew

How could I think I was living alone?
How could a man be so blind?
How could I have come so far
Without His hand in mine?

His love was reaching
An invisible hand pulling me through
His love was reaching
Touching my life in more ways than I ever knew

MEECE, DAVID / VANNELLI, GINO

© Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

A Hugger's Confession

I have a confession.  I am a hugger.  Hugs are therapeutic.  They warm your soul and calm your nerves.  They express feelings and emotions that words cannot express.  They reassure you when the world is out of control.  When your body craves affection, not sex, a good, solid, embrace does wonders. 

Hugs are like a warm blanket on a stormy night.  They are a breath of fresh air in a stagnant world.  A strong, loving embrace is balm for a weary heart and a blessing to the giver and receiver. 

I give hugs because I need hugs.  I don’t get enough of them.  When you see me, give me a hug.  

#hugging #hugs

God Only Knows

There's a star in the Northern Sky

and it shines

There's a wind from another world

that blows through my mind

There are stones beneath my feet

and valleys dark and wide

Though He shakens my belief

He will not be denied

There's a road up there where the eagle flies

There's a path beyond the highest hill

Oh no, I don't care how far heaven lies

I stake this life on this road I chose

God only knows

Only God really knows

There's a voice from a distant place

It calls my name

There's a hand that pulls me up

to a higher plane

There are mountains high to climb

and rivers deep to cross

Though his love may lead me blind

My soul will not be lost

Oh no, I don't care how far heaven lies

I stake my life on this road I chose

God only knows

Take me up, take me high

to the limit of the sky

© Gino Vanelli and Roy Freeland

Killer Holts and the Roar of the Big Guns

When I was little, my dad worked 2 jobs, 7 days per week.  Still, it seemed he was around to spend time with my siblings and me.  I remember playing catch in the back yard or side yard.  There was no house east of ours for several years.  Therefore, we used that open lot to play baseball and football.  Dad was the pitcher for baseball.  He was the “full time quarterback” in football.  I remember he took the time to teach us the basics of each sport.  When my brother started playing basketball, he had a pole and basket and backboard installed. 

One thing I was considering today was my dad’s use of the English language.  There are various phrases that he used.  Here are a couple:  there was a time when money was short and they barely had “two nickels to rub together,“  When my sister took Spanish in high school, he started saying, “Pour 4 more” (instead of por favor in Spanish).  The one that really stood out today was ‘Killer holt.” 

My dad loved to wrestle with his kids when they were small.  When we were very young, he’d wrestle all 3 of us at the same time.  Every so often, he’d get one of us in a hold that was hard for us to escape.  Then he’d say he had us in a “killer holt.” 

If someone was tired or wanted to quit, then he’d say we couldn’t “take the roar of the big guns.”  Actually, that phrase is used in any circumstance where someone wants to quit or just doesn’t feel like doing something. 

I think my favorite phrase of his actually turned out not to be a Windellism.  My dad is very handy and has always been a mechanic and he later became a certified electrician.  From time to time, I would help dad with things he worked on.  He would ask me for a particular tool and I would hand it to him.  I remember early on handing him a Phillips screwdriver when he asked for one.  For years, I thought that dad just made that up.  It wasn’t until I took a shop class in high school that I learned dad didn’t make that up. 

I love my dad and am so proud to be his son. 

The Way

The way I seek is not a path,

but a person.

The peace I desire is not a state of mind,

but a way of living.

My security is not from what I have,

but Who has me.

Something I have to work through

I can say that I believe that God has a plan for me for prosperity and to give me a future and a hope.  I can read about how I can go to God and He will show me great and wonderful things.  Is it enough to believe in these things?  No.  I must believe God.  I must believe that He is God and will do these things and more.  God is who He says He is.  He can do what He says He will do.  

It is easy for me to believe God’s promises for you.  I can see that He loves you and will work out your situation.  But this is me.  This is MY life and MY circumstances.  Can faith get me through MY situations?  Can He save me from the holes I’ve dug?  They are deep and the walls are high. I’m between a rock and a hard place.  Will He part the waters so I can walk through on dry land and escape the traps?  

Do I believe enough to command the mountain in MY life to be moved into the ocean and it will happen?  If He said it's possible, shouldn't I take Him at His word?  Is my lack of faith or acting on faith the reason for lack of miracles in my life?  Could there be more miracles in our world if we would act in faith in what God says he will do?   Is that what I should do for my life at this time? Should I toil my way through or do I stand back and watch and wait for a miracle?  

I’ve been lost without You, cold without Your love.  In time, will I be what You’re thinking of? Rescue me from hanging on this line.  I won’t give up on giving You a chance to blow my mind. Let the eleventh hour quickly pass me by.  I’ll find you when I think I’m out of time.  

School Is Always In Session

I heard a story of a young boy who was fussing that he didn't want to go to school.  All morning long, he complained that he didn't want to go to to school.  Finally, at the bus stop he was almost in tears.  He said that it wasn't fair.  His mother, in exasperation said, "Life isn't fair.  Get on the bus."  Later, in the midst of a troubling day, she complained to herself that the circumstances weren't fair.  Then she heard her own words come back to her, "Life isn't fair.  Get on the bus."   Sometimes things happen that seem so wrong.  However, like the boy who didn't want to go to school, it really was the best thing for him.  It was preparing him for the future.  My mom used to talk about the School of Hard Knocks.  Life has a way of making sure we learn lessons that we need to know.  I firmly believe that if certain things happen over and over in your life, it means that you have to learn that lesson.  The good news is that these classes are always in session.  We always have the opportunity to gain the knowledge and experience we need for what will come.  If we approach these classes with the right attitude, we can learn the lesson and go on.  It probably was the best thing that could happen.  Learn your lesson and move on.  

The Difference

Many people in the public eye have overcome tremendous odds to make it to where they are. They are often asked what made the difference. Have you ever heard any of them state that they received a new computer or that some particular technology gave them that extra boost to get over the edge?

Technology is a tool. Tools are to make our lives easier. We’ve seen tremendous advances in the everyday instruments we use in the last few decades. For all the astonishing products that line store shelves and gleam from online stores, not one of them will touch you the way another human being can.

We are here to commune with each other. Without human interaction, we will forever exist with a overwhelming void in our souls.  You need to reach out and touch people.  If your life is not touched like mine, then I challenge you to be the one that reaches out and makes a difference.  When you touch someone, you will find that you are touched.