My grandson is inching toward two years of age. He is a sweet little boy who is quite talkative and has an amazing sense of humor. His effervescent demeanor charms all who come in contact with him. I also see a soft heart and gentle spirit in him. The little boy warms my heart.
Recently, he started going to a day care 2 days per weeks. On his first day of “school,” his mom, grandma, and I brought him there. We took photos and he met his teacher. It is hit me hard when I saw his face the moment he realized we were leaving him there. I fought back tears as his spilled onto his cheeks. In that moment, I wished life didn’t have to be like that. Why should we have to separate, even for a short time, from our little boy? I hurt for him. I started to feel an existential question bubble up in my heart: Why must he/we do things we don’t want to do?
We were able to watch him through a two way mirror and his fear eased as he clutched his blanket. When we returned three hours later, he sat on the floor in the middle of the room looking through a book. He loves books. There were 2 children crying in the room but, with blanket in hand, he was lost in his book. We called to him but he couldn’t hear us. Finally, he turned, recognized us, and got up. His eyes looked weary. He normally would have had a nap but missed it.
Driving home, I pondered my earlier thoughts about humans experiencing heartache. On a primal level, I wish no one has to suffer the pain of separation or loss. Unfortunately, life will never allow it. We cannot be everywhere and everything to everyone. As much as it hurts, we must experience disappointment, loss, and pain. While it might sound like heaven, a life without negatives would be more hellish.
Have you ever known someone who has lived life mostly alone and able to do as they wish? Are they not eccentric? I have family members who do not want to have children because kids will ruin their ability to travel. I know their parents traveled with them when they were young so it can be done. I’ll just get to the point. When left to do as they please, people become spoiled. Spoiled children are a nuisance. Spoiled adults are boorish at best. Who wants to deal with spoiled children or adults?
As I consider these situations, I find myself more grateful for the trials of life. I haven’t always enjoyed them but I’ve grown and gained strength due to the fires. Iron sharpens iron and I know I’ve had people in my life who have challenged me. By this, I mean their temperament was contrary to mine and I had to adjust. I don’t like it but the callouses have fortified my soft heart and I have a greater appreciation for beautiful moments of my earthly existence.
I’ve heard it said before we appreciate light because of darkness. Because of life’s challenges, we can embrace pain, loss, heartache, abandonment and other privations of life. Perhaps we can’t while in the moment. I am very acquainted with the darker times of life. Still, when your heart heals, (please seek help if this isn’t happening for you) your life can be so much more that it was before.
