A great hope filled Jim’s soul. For the whole of his life, Jim wanted to be someone. He wanted to do works of great importance. How he yearned to make an impact in the world. Nevertheless, from the pit of his being, he always believed himself a failure and would never be enough.
Though he wouldn’t yet recognize this fact, Jim shrouded his heart in obscurity to avoid the pain of each disappointment, however real or perceived they might be. Yet, on this day, following a chance meeting, Jim allowed the sight of an eternal vision to catch the hope of truth: he would one day fulfill the possibilities that were planted by an eternal, benevolent Creator.
The stranger, who ordered his meal at the fast food restaurant Jim frequented, eyed Jim with great intention after leaving the counter with his meal. Jim identified a mixture of surprise and recognition in the stranger’s face. The wheels of memory churned while placing his standard order. Who was that guy? Do I know him?
What the stranger later declared continued to rock the foundations of Jim’s understanding. The seeds of hope buried deep in his heart were dead but now seemed to quicken. Again, Jim looked at the letters and numbers scrawled onto the back of the stranger’s lunch receipt. Again, Jim read the words of Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Hope! Hope, that beacon of light in a dark and weary land. The stranger’s voice echoed and Jim read again. Like lyrics of honey poured out to heal his barren soul, Jim soaked up each and every drop. A tinge of embarrassment worked to squeeze in between the light and darkness and reaffirm dominance. Jim shook his head. No, not this time.
Jim saw it all again. Mortification permeated after the stranger approached and began speaking. Burnt into the synapses, Jim recalled his demeanor and tone. They spoke acceptance. They called to him as one seeking a lost child, desiring to hold it to his chest in an eternal embrace. He spoke, “Hey, um, I don’t know you but I feel I have to tell you something.”
From the corner of his eye, Jim noted the person seated next to him turn his attention to the stranger. Jim felt his cheeks flush. The stranger’s reddened as well. Finally, after shifting in his seat, Jim pursed his lips and replied, “Ok.” After a lifetime of rejection, mostly from himself, Jim steadied himself for an onslaught of words his mind repeated all too often. “You are stupid. You are not worth anything. You are an idiot.”
“After I took my order and saw you, I clearly felt I had to tell you something. I believe in God and I believe He wants you to know this. I wrote down the chapter and verse so you can look at it later.” He handed Jim the receipt.
With tears flowing, Jim read again the promise from God hearing the stranger’s voice. How he wished he’d asked for his name but at the moment Jim was awash with hope and embarrassment. Tears were brimming his eyes and about to spill down his cheeks. He just had to leave before someone mocked the weakness he displayed.
Now, in the quiet of his room, Jim let grace rain upon him. He hadn’t darkened the door of a church in more than a decade. Yet, it was apparent God was calling. Though unworthy, Jim wanted to let the hope he felt lead him to the next step.
