Reality vs Perception

How many times have you watched a movie based on a story from the bible?  As you watched, you criticized various scenes for inaccuracies.   For that matter, I know I have done it when a director took liberties with novels I liked.  My perception was different than someone else’s.  In my mind, my perception was better. 

Reality can be the same as our perception but the truth of the matter is that it could be very different.  Still to each individual, our perception is our reality.  Have you ever heard how elephants are trained?  When they are young, they have a leg chained to something so they cannot move.  Over the years, they believe they cannot move beyond the length of the chain.  Eventually, their owners change the chain to something much weaker.  However, the elephant never tries to escape their bindings.  To them, the bonds are too strong be broken.  That is their perception but in reality, they could easily escape.

For the last few days I’ve been considering things I’ve long held to be true.  I believe there is a God in heaven who loves His creation and sent His Son to redeem a fallen race.  I believe that to be reality.  However, I’ve been wondering what is there in my life that makes me think I’m still chained and not properly viewing the reality of who God is.  What am I missing because of my fallen but redeemed state?  Is there something I have long held as true but, in reality, is a warped perception?  Therefore, I am asking God to point out and change my perceptions so I can see the truth as it is. 

Oh God, You are perfect all Your ways!  Show me my shortcomings and misunderstandings and let me see You in Your true light.  Help me to give up what needs to be discarded and cling to what You deem important. 

 

Testing the Water

The time of training has past
The testing has come at last
 I speak and I proclaim You
Now I know what I must do

Time to walk this road I talk
And tread the way You led
Testing the water, will I float?
Or will I again climb into the boat?

Stripping away the mire and sludge
 Areas before that I wouldn’t budge
But when shaped to the master plan
The flame forges the heart of man  

Give me strength to endure this test
I know You give me what is best
Let me focus on Your loving eye
And I know that I will get by

Time to walk this road I talk
And tread the way You led
Childish ways I leave behind
And a higher road will I find

What Can We Do With Pain?

Disappointment.  Loneliness.  Heartache.  Pain.  In this case, when I use the word pain, I do not refer to a physical pain like a cut or burn.  I mean pain that is emotional.  Why do we have such pain?  Is there a purpose for it being part of the human makeup?  

In her program, On Being, Krista Tippett interviewed Stuart Brown, who studies play in humans and animals.  She asks Brown about her son, and the difference between playing and fighting and how it seems violent from time to time.  Brown states that such play is universal if it is allowed to emerge.  He goes on to say that if you observe preschoolers at play you would notice it is chaotic and looks violent on the surface.  They are hitting, squealing and yelling.  

However, if you look at their faces, they are smiling.  It isn’t a contest of who is going to win. Brown continues that if a child is hit during this playing and feels genuine pain as a result, they know what that feels like and will be careful not to hit someone else too hard.  Therefore, the rough and tumble play of children is the beginnings of empathy.  

As a person who knows what it is to be rejected, betrayed and lonely, I understand how someone feels who has also been rejected, betrayed and lonely.  You can speak to me of your heartache and I can agree with what you feel.  I am proof you can move on from it.

Children who are too sheltered by their parents have their growth stunted in regards to dealing with the disappointments in life.  I am reminded of a story of someone who decided to help a butterfly as it emerged from the cocoon.  The butterfly was able to get out easily but the wings did not fully develop and were useless.  We have learned that in the struggle to be free of the cocoon, blood is pumped into the wings and enables them to strong and vital.  It is the struggle that supports the needed growth.  

When we have pain in our lives, I agree it is not fun.  Still, we are able to sympathize with others who have a similar experiences.  We need to use the struggles in our life to help others.  We are not meant to live life alone.  Proverbs says two are better than one.  Do not fear sharing your painful experiences.  Your words may be the very thing someone else needs to hear to get through their circumstances. 

Search Me and Know Me

Psalm 139 begins with David saying that “God searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.  You hem me in behind and before and you lay your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.”

David recounts God’s greatness for knowing things about him that David doesn’t and cannot know.  God knew him when he was in the womb.  There is nowhere David can go to escape from God’s presence.  Darkness and light are the same to God.  Since David begins by saying that God already knows him intimately, why, in verses 23 and 24, does he request the following:

Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

God already knows David’s heart.  He knows David’s anxious thoughts and offensive ways.  If God were to search again David’s heart, He would find nothing new.  So why request God to do this?

When you read through Psalm 139, you can see a progression of David’s wonder of God.  You begin to see that God is everything to him.  Then in love and admiration, David acknowledges his offense to wicked people and those who profane God’s name.  God means so much to David he cannot understand how others cannot love Him also. 

Then he realizes that he wants to know God more.  However, what if, like those who don't love God, there is something in David's life that is offensive to God?  He knows he loves God but could be offending Him and not know it.  What should he do?

Since God already knows him completely, he wants God to reveal areas in David’s life that are offensive to God so he does not also profane God’s name without knowing it.  He wants God to know him and be known.  David understands it is more about allowing God to show him what is wrong and trusting God to work in him to correct it.  Then David can have the godly relationship his Lord wants.

Oh that I can/will do the same.

Why Do I Write?

What is this infinite longing in my soul?

From where does it begin?

Why does it beget such a stirring,

a chasm from within?

I write to be heard

Cry out to be found

Can you hear my voice?

Did I make a sound?

I speak to move

I listen to hear

my father, my savior

Can he be near?

What is hope?

A door propped open?

One who denies but still watches,

searching the night for the rays of dawn?

Will it be enough?

Why do I write?

What is my aim?

I want to be heard,

and felt just the same. 

Duane Windell Phillips © March 2015

#poetry

I Believe

I believe in a God who gave us free will to do as we please.  While He wants communion with us, He will not force Himself on us.  I believe in a God who is patient with us.  He understands our frailties because He created us.  I believe in a God who is faithful to us even when we deny Him, ignore Him, and push Him away.  Despite all of our crying and moaning and blaming, He understands our nature and is willing to overlook it.  Why?  Because He loves us.  Why does He love us?  I think because He makes perfect things and He loves His creation.  It isn’t us, it is Him.  It is all about Him.  I cannot speak for anyone but me.  

For every thing that I do that I believe could merit His favor, I do 10 things that could be charged against me.  When I think I could be nearing a breakthrough, I backslide.  If I were asked to be an example for others to know what a Christian is, I shudder to think of the example I have demonstrated.  

Still, God is patient with me each time I fall and I am reminded of how much I need someone to save me.  I need someone to make up the difference of my shortcomings.  The account that I created for myself is bankrupt.  

God sent his Son to the world to take over the debt I have accumulated.  He took every time I came up short, every time I lied, cheated, or stole.  He took every imbalance of my account and paid for it.  He did it all before I had a chance to clean myself up.  Not that I could clean myself because the stench of my works hangs on me.  

But when the day of judgment comes, I will be found blameless.  Why?  Because God chose to have His Son die for me.  I choose to believe God when He says that His Son's death is enough.  He paid my debts.  Because of the fragrance of His death, the stench of my life is overcome and all the Father sees is His son.  Therefore, I am worthy.  Not because of anything I have done, but because of everything that God has done for me and because I choose to accept it and believe it.

#faith #redemption #godslove

Until the Last Moment

I once strained to view all the day had to give

a baby’s mind, I wanted life to live

Each day wondrous and bright

Oh how I fought away the night.

Until the last moment,

there was so much to see

Until the last moment

Oh, slumber let me be

Until the last moment

I would finally unwind

Until the last moment

Blessed rest so kind

But life has many cares to chase after

We can lose track of living and laughter

Empty living fed my doubt

for what my life was about

Until the last moment

there was so much to lose

Until the last moment

Oh, it’s life that I chose

Until the last moment

When You opened my eyes

Until the last moment

I finally saw the lies

The days they shorten and winter draws near

There is much to do, the time is here

The voice is calling strong and deep

As I strain to hold what I keep

Until the last moment

there is so much to do

Until the last moment

Oh, to hold it like glue

Until the last moment

With all complete and done

Until the last moment

When the race is won.

©

Defining Moments

A few years ago, during the return flight from Bogotá, they showed the movie “A Lot Like Love.” While watching, I realized something about movies that span several years of a character’s life. They only show the highlights of someone’s life.  Of course, this is done in the interest of time and to keep the audience's attention.  

Maybe this is one of the reasons that we wish for so much out of our lives and we can lose patience with our present circumstances.  In TV and movies, whole lives grow and situations are resolved in thirty minutes to two hours.  Moments are defined before our eyes.  We see progression.  We anticipate resolution. 

However, real life doesn’t work like that.  Our circumstances drag on.  We are left with a hole in our hearts when love is lost or dies.  We lose more battles than we care to mention.  Still, when we live with purpose, when we prepare and work toward our goals, we will begin to recognize our defining moments. 

Defining moments begin small and unseen by others and sometimes even we don’t notice them.  Often, these are times of self denial rather than self indulgence.  They are the occasions when we work to make an improvement rather than waste away in front of the TV. 

We have many occasions that prepare us for the shot, if they made a movie about our lives, that would appear on the big screen.  These times can be compared to an athlete who trains day after day preparing for each race.  Then the day of qualifying comes. Was the preparation enough?  Was this person serious or just playing with it?  Race day proves who was working and who was playing. 

If you go to a track meet, you can see the ones who are working.  Even when their effort isn’t enough, they build on each loss.  They build character.  They grow resilience.  Each race stokes the fire of their passion.  

Every day is filled with defining moments whether we see them or not.  There are many times in every day of our lives that define us.  The question is this:  What kind of life are you defining?  Will the movie about your life show you working toward having a life that will inspire others?  Each time we do the right thing when it is a small thing prepares us for the day when we will be called to do the right thing when it is big.  We will be ready when the time comes.  These are the moments for which movies are made.

Stargazing

I love star gazing

I love looking at that blanket of black with it’s

diamonds fixed in place

It’s peaceful and stable

I look at them in awe and wonder

and they look down upon me with wisdom and knowledge

Here am I the passing vapor,

and they the eternal governors of the night

we commune with each other

My body aches for the infinity they possess

I feel but a grain of sand from taking it all in

but I know my finite will never hold eternity

Untitled

I was digging through some old stuff and found this. I remember at the time how much I was tired of stupid stuff in my life.  I wanted so much to move on to what I believed to be my destiny. 

I want to break free of the chains that hold me.

I ache for my heart to sing out it’s

cry of freedom.

That blessed moment when the last string is

cut and I can run unencumbered.

Caught in the Balance

Time passes ever onward
No obstacle slows its pace
Until the day the beating ceases
We are just a number along the way

We want purpose
To be remembered
We want to matter
To last forever

A life of contrasts
We live out our season
Chained to the now
We wonder the reason

A body for the moment
A heart for forever
Stuck in the balance
The two will meet never

Time passes ever onward
No obstacle slows its pace
Until the day the beating ceases
We are just a number along the way


Duane Windell Phillips Copyright May 2015



Just some thoughts about the tension we feel as humans who belong to eternity but are stranded in time

#eternity

Connections

I appreciate Facebook and Google+ for the ability to easily stay in touch with friends and family.  However, there is one thing I miss using these modes of communication.  I miss really connecting with people.  I mean really connecting.  Like email, much of what is posted to Facebook and Google+ is junk at worst, fluff at best. 

Please do not get me wrong, I like a good joke and I always appreciate an encouraging word.  Still, there is no real connection between me and you if all we do is share quips.  How do we share our hearts if we hide behind beautiful pictures with nice quotes?  There is no real connection. 

Before it appears I am trying to look all high and mighty, l freely say that I sometimes hide behind the veil of electronic communication.  Today we have a myriad of ways to instantly communicate with people all over the world.  Yet we don’t walk across the street to visit with our neighbor.  Yes, I’m guilty of that too.

Please hear what my heart is saying.  We have great tools for sharing our thoughts.  Communication has never been easier than now.  Please reach out to those you love and TELL THEM you love them.  Tell them with a phone call if you can’t see them face to face.  Tell them with a text or private message if you don’t have time for a personal visit or phone call.  Make real connections. 

Wind

The air that surrounds our earth has such an important role in every aspect of our lives but we never take notice of it.  We can hear wind and see it's affects but we never actually see it.  And yet, without air life ceases.  

Wind can fill your sails and give you power.  You can streak across the horizon with excitement and know that you are going somewhere.  When you are on the mountaintops of life the air is behind you.  However, you can have the wind knocked out of you.  You collapse to the ground gasping for life.  You are wounded and wonder how you will carry on.  

More than likely, you have had both types of circumstances in your life.  Perhaps you won a contest, found your love, got an A, or just experienced a triumphant moment with a friend.  The wind is strong and life is all around you.  Or maybe your parents died, you lost your job, your best friend moved, or you lost your love.  Life has been sucked from you and you don't know how you will carry on.  

Whether we are in a desert valley or a peak experience, God breathes life into us.  If you are high, enjoy it while you can.  If you are low, believe that the wind will move you again.  The breeze will sustain you.  Your time will come.  

God is Bigger

Recently, I was given a great reminder of who God is in the grand scheme of our individual lives.  Science is good at breaking things down.  We learn how things work and how we can make improvements.  Still, science can’t do everything.  It has not proved God doesn’t exist.  Why are we moved by the beauty of a sunset or the sound of a particular song?  Why do people of faith who are dying seem to have more life in them than the rest of us? There are puzzles in life that cannot be solved in human terms. 

Science can’t explain why faith makes a difference.  Believing it to be a crutch grossly underestimates the power of faith.  The fact of the matter is this:  the God who created the universe did not merely make everything and then go off on His own.  He wants a relationship with mankind.  He wants His creation to worship Him.  

God is bigger than you and me.  He is bigger than the mathematics and sciences we use to study, measure, and improve life and the world around us.  He is beyond our comprehension and imagination.  When life is hard, He is bigger than life and can and will provide a way to overcome according to His plan. 

30 Things About Me

In honor of my 100th blog entry

30 Things About Me

1 Born in Canton, IL

2 Youngest of 4 kids

3 Oldest brother died while an infant

4 I guess I can say it now.  I was a momma’s boy.

5 The house I grew up in was built by my parents

6 I’ve always liked learning things.  I used to look through encyclopedias just to find something interesting to read about

7 On Saturdays when I wanted to watch cartoons, my sister would make me dust the furniture

8 I come from a musical family. All of my siblings can sing well and played an instrument.  My father was a trumpet player and he and his brother had a band called the Junior Polka Dots that won second place in a national contest in Chicago.

8 I was in chorus all through school and even competed in contests.  My voice would be fine by my legs literally shook from nerves. 

9 Started running track/cross country in high school

10 Fastest 1600 4:55

11 Fastest 3200 10:46

12 Fastest 3 mile 16:46

13 Fastest 4 mile 22:48

14 Fastest 5 mile 28:46

15 Fastest 10K I don’t remember

16 Acted in high school in

17 Cheaper By The Dozen

18 Sound of Music

19 Cinderella

20 Harvey

21 Emergency appendectomy Sep 5, 1981  My mom’s birthday

22 Attended Judson College

23 Attended Manatee Community College

24 Attended University of West Georgia

25 No college degree yet

26 Age when first tried smoking, 4 or so (Will post a story about that)

27 Age when I finally drank a whole beer, 28

28 I’ve never been drunk or high

29 I don’t ever remember going through a phase where I didn’t like females.  I would pretend they have cooties but in my heart, I loved em

30 Before I met my wife, I thought love at first sight was propaganda pushed onto us by Hollywood.