Driftwood: Part II

Nick awoke the following morning thinking that if he was going to find himself, he only had 4 more days to do it.  He decided to take stock of what he knew.  He would try to be as objective as possible. 

He decided to think of the negatives first.  1.  He missed his wife.  2.  He felt lost since she died.  3.  Life didn’t have much flavor any more.  4.  Money is very tight now with doctor and hospital bills to pay.  The refunds he would have received for cancelling this trip would have helped.  5.  He didn’t really like rice and beans for breakfast.  The last one wasn’t earth shattering, obviously.

Maybe it was his mood or lack of coffee but his mind was blank for positive things.  His eyes scanned the room and his mind began to wonder.  He sat up and forced himself to think.  He determined that he would come up with a good point for each bad one. 

1.  He married a good woman.  2.  He didn’t know what could be positive about feeling lost since Gwen died.  He was ready for breakfast and didn’t want to delay so he went on to the next point.  3.  He has great kids who still add spice to his life.  They were good kids who didn’t get into trouble.  He was certain that was due to the workings of Gwen and not him.  She was hard on them to get good grades and worked to ensure they were well adjusted people who would be an asset to society.  4.  He was still healthy and could work and was certain he could pay off the bills.  5.  He did like plantains and the coffee there was wonderful.  He planned to purchase a lot of coffee before returning home. 

He got up, opened his suitcase and started digging through clothes.  He said out loud, “One nice thing about being here, I don’t care how I look or who will see me.  I bet Gwen is up there laughing about that.”  Previously, Nick always had to look “presentable.”  It wasn’t that he felt he had to leave an impression but he felt people should put their best foot forward.  Therefore, he regularly took pains to wear certain clothes.  Though most people at his church wore blue jeans or even shorts, Nick continued to where a suit.  Eventually, he stopped wearing the jacket.  Lately, he stopped wearing the tie but he refused to start wearing denim.  Don’t get him started on people who sip their Starbucks cups in church. 

After dressing in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, he started walking toward the restaurant.  As he walked, he continued to ponder a positive to counteract the negative point of feeling lost since Gwen died.  Is there an opposite to being lost?  That would be being found, right?  I don’t feel found.  Maybe coffee will clear some cobwebs.

Coffee was waiting for him after he loaded his plate at the buffet.  “Ah, coffee.” he thought.  “Nectar of the gods.”  He looked around the restaurant and noticed a lot of driftwood used for decoration.  He mused that it must be a cheap way to decorate.  The stuff is probably always washing up to their door step. 

There was a new waitress today and she spoke English quite well.  Her name was Luz.  She came by and refilled his coffee and asked how the food was.  Nick expressed his appreciation.  She asked if he was enjoying his time in Costa Rica.  Nick hesitated for a moment.  It wasn’t a bad trip but he wasn’t sure he was enjoying himself.  He looked at Luz, trying to decide what to say.

She appeared to be 22-25 years old, about the age of his youngest.  She was about to say something when Nick simply blurted out, “My wife died not too long ago and this was a trip the both of us were supposed to take.  I’m here alone.  My kids told me to find myself while I’m here.  I’m not sure I know how.” 

Luz got a very concerned look on her face and then seemed on the verge of tears.  She placed her hand on Nick’s shoulder and said, “I am sorry.  My mom died 2 years ago.”  Then she fell silent.  Nick felt like crap.  “Way to dump on a complete stranger.” he thought to himself.  There was another moment of silence when Nick offered, “I’m sorry.  My condolences.” 

“It is ok.  I am sorry this trip is not what you hoped but I love my country and there are many things to see and do.  Have you been to the volcanoes or coffee plantations?” 

“No, not yet.  That does sound like fun.” 

“Yes, you should go to the front desk.  They can arrange for you to go on tours.” 

“That’s a good idea.  Thank you.  I will tell you about it when I get back. 

“Yes, I know you will enjoy it.  You should go to the rain forest and on the zip lines.”

“Oh no.  I don’t see me going on a zip line.” 

Luz had to take care of other customers and Nick sat for a moment thinking.  You know, I do need to go out and do something.  While this place is nice, it is a little depressing to sit around here for the whole trip.  Gwen always liked to do things at the last minute.  Nick preferred more structure.  Still, Gwen was able to pull things together quickly so he always went along with the flow because she always seemed to be able to answer any question he had about what they were going to do.  Therefore, it seemed to him things were structured. 

Nick went to the front desk to inquire about tours.  There was a local zip line tour that didn’t interest him.  He always wanted to see a volcano so he inquired about them.  The front desk clerk gave him a couple brochures.  One caught his eye.  It included ground transportation to Arenal Volcano, meals, time at a resort, and a stop in Sarchi.  He read that Sarchi was famous for furniture and ox carts.  Ox carts?  What makes ox carts so special?  Still, from the pictures, he thought it would be an entertaining trip.  It was too late to go that day but he arranged for the following day. 

The rest of the day was inconsequential except for lunch.  Nick went to the hotel restaurant again and Luz was his server.  He smiled at her and she returned the smile.  When she brought him the check, she also handed him an envelope.  Nick asked, “What’s this?”

“It is just a card.  My heart was broken when my mom died and my father was very sad also.  I just want to do something nice for you.  I still miss my mom.  There are times I want to share something with her like I used to do but she is not here with us.”

“Thank you.”

“You are welcome.”

Nick started to open the envelope but Luz waved her hand.  “No, please.  Open it before you go to sleep tonight or after you get to your room.” 

“Ok, I will.  Thank you, again.”

“El gusto es mio.”

“Huh?”

“It means, the pleasure is mine.”

Later, Nick took time to walk around the hotel grounds before returning to his room.  There was a creek with a nice bridge going over it.  Since it was night time, the Christmas lights on it were illuminated.  There were lizards scampering about on it.  Nick noticed birds flying in and out of sight.  The lights were just catching their wings as they darted about.  “Wait a second.” Nick thought.  “Those aren’t birds.  They are bats.”  He’d never seen a bat before and felt a shiver in his spine.  He decided to return to his room. 

Upon stepping into his room, he sat at the desk and opened the envelope.  He briefly thought to himself that he still hadn’t come up with a positive for feeling lost.  He removed the card from the envelope.  The outside of the card had an artistic rendering of a waterfall surrounded by a lush jungle.  It seemed quite realistic and Nick felt it must be an actual place. 

In side the card he read this:

“Dear Mr. Sherman,

If my English does not make sense, please tell me and I will try to explain.  Whenever I learn of a person who has died, I remember how I felt.  This is something that I read and it helped.  I hope the translation is good and you understand. 

‘The Homecoming

On this side there is heartache and questions.

Why did you have to go?

We are glad you go to a better place and we anxiously wait the day we can be with you.

But now we must live with this hole in our hearts, the place you vacated. We must learn how to live again. 

On the other side there are smiles and rejoicing.  Well done, thou good and faithful servant! The anticipation of your arrival has been great and the celebration is grand.

There is no more suffering or pain and the joy of the Lord fills the air.

Now you have real life.’

Death hurts us but I believe death is a part of life and it continues.  We will be with the ones we love again.  I hope God heals your heart.

Luz

Nick reread the card 2 more times.  Tears began to well up in his eyes.  Now he could counter the emptiness he felt since Gwen died.  He still had people who loved him.  He didn’t know Luz but she was put in the path of his life.  She demonstrated that there is life after death for the ones left behind.  True, the world doesn’t care about one individual.  Maybe that is the problem with the world.  We are all so small, so insignificant compared to the world in general.  Yet, when another individual purposes to connect with us, we are better because of it.  Love makes us better.

He silently prayed, seeking forgiveness for not giving his burden, his pain to God.  He told the Lord that he wanted to connect with people again.  He wanted to feel whole and if going out into the world again was where wholeness was, that’s what he wanted.