It Fundamentally Changes Your Whole Life

After witnessing the birth of my first child, I called my parents and siblings to tell them the good news.  I remember discussing the blessed event with my sister.  She said to me, “Isn’t it an event unlike any you’ve ever witnessed?” 

Having children changes everything about your life.  Suddenly, you aren’t so ego centric.  Your life revolves around the new precious bundle in your care.  You wonder what you did with all the time you used to have.  Now every moment of sleep is coveted.  Still, you love to show off your baby.  You are in awe of that creation.  Then your heart melts as the child grows older and recognizes you.  Then, they are crazy for you.  They meet you at the door when you come home.  Children are a blessing. 

I have a coworker who lost a teenage daughter recently to a freak accident.  Today was the first time I spoke with him and offered my condolences.  I could have earlier but what do you say to the parent who buried a child?  I pride myself on being someone who can consol and be empathetic.  For some reason, I just couldn’t face him.  More than likely, he didn’t notice since we rarely have spoken since we are on different shifts.  Nevertheless, I felt I had to do so today.  The last thing he said to me before going home for the day was that an event like that “it fundamentally changes your whole life.”

I have long felt that death has a way of stripping away the veneers we put on life and make us see what is truly important.  Sadly, when the departed is someone as close as a child, parent, or spouse, death cruelly rubs it in our faces.  I mentioned to him that a friend of my daughter died a year before on the day she was heading back to college.  As she backed out of the driveway, she remembered something she forgot in the house and jumped from the car to get it.  She forgot to stop and put the car in Park.  Then she ran back to the moving car to stop it.  She ended up pinned between the car and something else and was in a coma for a few days before she died.  My friend’s daughter was on an 4 wheeler or something like it and the vehicle turned over and landed on her just right.  She died instantly.  The doctors told the family that if they did that a thousand more times, she wouldn’t have died.  It was just a freak accident.  It fundamentally changed their lives. 

When my daughter’s friend died some lines from a Switchfoot song (Sing it Out) went through my head

Where is the sun?
Feel like a ghost this time
Where have you gone?
I need your breath in my lungs tonight

Sing it out
Sing it out
Take what is left of me
Make it a melody

I'm holding on
I'm holding on to you
My world is wrong
My world is a lie that's come true

And I fall in love
With the ones that run me through
When all along all I need is you

Life is short and we don’t know how long we will be on this earth.  Hug the ones you love.  Tell them you love them.  Live your life with purpose.