A New Story: Not a Typical Night

Bob was sitting in his chair nursing a beer when Marsha arrived.  The sight of him sitting there again disgusted her.  She wished he would have started something for dinner.  If he would peel carrots or potatoes or simply chopped onions her life would be easier.  Instead, they had defined roles in the house.  He worked outside.  She worked inside.  While Bob did put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher, that didn’t stop Marsha from wishing he would help more around the house. 

Her husband meticulously maintained each vehicle.  In the winter, he had Marsha’s car warmed up and ready to go when she left in the morning.  While Marsha appreciated this, she still grumbled he should clean out the garage.  Then they wouldn’t need to park their cars outside.

Throwing her keys and purse onto the kitchen table, Marsha asked, “How was your day, darlin’?”

Bob got up and walked to his wife to give her his obligatory kiss.  “Today was fine?  How ‘bout you?”

Normally, Marsha would go into details about various aspects of her day.  Bob would partially listen to her drone on and make corresponding nods, noises or gestures to certain phrases and catch words.  Marsha’s mind was filled with dread over the whole missing card incident and knew she couldn’t mention it to Bob.  She couldn’t think of anything else that happened during the day.  Therefore, she simply replied, “My day was fine too.”

Bob noted the different and short reply.  He also caught a troubled tone in her voice.  Had they been newlyweds, he would have gladly been her knight in shining armor.  There was a time when they were crazy about each other.  Now they drove each other crazy.  Hence, Bob was simply happy not to have to listen to her talk about nothing for the next 30 minutes or more. 

Since he was sure Marsha would start complaining about what he hadn’t done since arriving at the house, He asked, “What shall we have for dinner?” 

She stopped and looked at him for a moment, thinking.  Finally, she replied, “I don’t want to cook a darn thing.”

“Well, you wanna go out?”

“Yes.”

“Well, where you wanna go?”

“I don’t know.  Can’t you make a decision for once in your life?”

“I would if you’d stop second guessing every decision I make.”

On a typical day, this would be the beginning of a fight.  Instead, Marsha had no energy or the stomach to deal with it.  Bob’s guard was up and ready for battle.  He was surprised to hear her reply, “Why don’t we go to that buffet place.  Isn’t tonight their steak special?  How does that sound?”  Stunned, Bob looked at Marsha.  What is going on here?  Then he followed Marsha to the door. 

Bob was happy to fill up on steak and baked potatoes.  He even managed to eat a small salad so Marsha wouldn’t complain he should eat healthier.  As always, he felt it necessary to get his money’s worth of food and he overate.  Then he had to make room for dessert.  Driving home, Bob repeatedly took deep breaths and felt indigestion and heartburn.  Finally, he said, “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.”

Knowing the reference, Marsha let out a slight chuckle and replied, “You ate it, Ralph.”