A Nice Quote Doesn’t Change Things

I suppose this post, and the tone it has, will seem strange for this holiday season. However, I’ve had a convergence of thoughts and events and I need to clear my mind.  Writing often helps me sort my thoughts. 

This blog and Instagram are my only social media platforms.  One thing I’ve seen the last few years in social media is the proliferation of uplifting quotes.  Frankly, I’m annoyed by them.  Please understand, I believe in the power of positive thinking.  However, there are circumstances that come up in life that positive thoughts will not change. 

My grandma Phillips was forever changed after living through the Great Depression.  She often spoke of the trials she and grandpa endured and the hopelessness people felt.  They were willing to work, and work hard, but no jobs were available. 

There is a refugee center near us and we hear their stories.  They escaped with their lives and the clothes they wore.  Too many had to bury, or didn’t have time to bury, loved ones.  Now they are shell shocked and simply move forward.  That’s all they know to do. 

Every year around Christmas time, I listen to the song “Christmas At Denny’s” by Randy Stonehill.  It reminds me of the dire situations some people have and the level of desperation they feel.  If you’ve never known hopelessness, you can’t feel the weight of these lyrics:

oh when I was a boy

I believed in Christmas

miracle season to make a new start

I don't need no miracle, sweet baby Jesus

just help me find

some kind of hope in my heart

Can you feel that desperation?

What causes hopelessness?  It happens when you’ve used the last of your money, you have no food in your house, your kids are hungry and crying, and your car just broke down.  You know what?  There are people more desperate than that.  Hopelessness comes when you’ve hoped and tried for years for something to improve or change but it never does.  Every effort you make doesn’t make things any better. 

What about the people who are so poor they have no car or home.  Some people literally live on the streets.  I worked in Mumbai, India about 15 years ago and I remember seeing people sleeping on sidewalks.  I thought to myself the lucky ones had mosquito nets.

I also watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” during the Christmas season.  In this movie, George Bailey dreams of doing big things.  He wants to design tall buildings and great bridges but is stuck in his dreary hometown working the family business.  It is a daily grind that continually wears him down. 

My previous job was like that.  Have you ever had a job you hated but couldn’t leave?  Well, I could have left that job but I didn’t have another one.  Believe me, I tried to find different jobs.  I tried for many years.  In all that time, only one job was offered to me.  Since it paid substantially less, it wasn’t an option.  We already struggled to make ends meet.  Therefore, in opulent quit the job I hated.  I have a wife and kids.  I was resolved to work there until I retired or died.  Whichever came first, I was committed. 

For nearly nine and a half years, I toiled in that pit of negativity.  I gave up believing I would ever escape.  I believed God wanted me there.  I don’t know why but it seemed I was paying a price for something.  I was without hope.

Have you ever struggled unceasingly with something day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day but never overcame?  After years of beating your head against a wall, is it any wonder people give up?  Nothing changes.  You can never get what you want.  No matter what you do, it-never-happens. 

This brings me to my comment about positive thoughts.  When you are in despair and without hope, positive thought quotes and memes fall on deaf ears.  It is like showing a man dying of thirst a photo of a tall glass of refreshing water.  Since it isn’t real, it doesn’t matter.  If you want help someone without hope, you must demonstrate to them you care.  Words can be part of it but you better back it up with action. 

Normally, I want to leave things on a positive note but life isn’t always like that.  We’ve watched too many movies and TV shows that ended with the hero winning again.  We live in a fantasy world.  Life isn’t a pretty present wrapped in a bow and all you have to do is open it.  Life is best described as chasing that present when it continually moves and is never there when they say it will be there. 

When you open your eyes, you will see life is messy and often not pretty.  That is where we must live.  Life is between now and not yet and we must experience the despair and hunger of that.