Childish Things

When I was younger, I thought the way a child thinks.  Now I am older and think like a man.  I want to search the depths of the vast expanse of God.  I gain an understanding here and there and marvel at what I see.  But lately, I want to be a child again.

Past fears and present realities have nailed me square between the eyes.  I want someone to comfort me and tell me I'm okay.  I want to shrug responsibilities and refuse to move until I'm taken care of.  What frustrates me most is that God won't allow my childish actions.  I can no longer claim that I'm too weak or that I lack the faith.  I've reached the age where I can no longer say that God doesn't care.  I know better.

The Father calmly reminds me that circumstances are to draw out the faith He has already placed in my heart.  I remember thinking once that if it take the faith the size of a mustard seed to move a mountain, it must not take much to get me through my situation.  Since God gives to everyone a measure of faith, that measure must be enough regardless of the complexity of the moment.  

No, I don't like it at all.   I want to claim weakness and have Him rescue me again so I can tell others how He reached down and touched me.  I'm afraid that's not what He wants.  He wants me to do away with childish things and be the man He wants me to be.  He wants me to use the stupid, everyday, mundane, annoying situations to draw out my faith and trust that He is still in control.  Now I am older and must put away my toys.  It's time to be a man.