The Magic Roundabout: Part III

The van was packed and Peter pulled onto the highway that led to the city where Marie would attend college.  Silence hung in the air and pressed on them both.  Peter couldn’t find words.  His mind was jumbled with self pity at losing his daughter.  Marie was filled with anticipation and fear of the unknown.  For several minutes, soft spoken questions and one or two word replies were the only conversation.  Finally, Marie broke the ice.

“Daddy, what was the hardest part about mom dying?”

“Wow, that’s a tough one.  You mean besides my heart being ripped outta my chest?’

“Yes.”

He thought for a moment then said, “Probably just the simple fact that I was in over my head.  Your grandmas came and took care of you and taught me how to care for a baby.  I had no clue what I was doing.  I was counting on your mom to break me in when it comes to raising kids.  Of course, that didn’t happen.”  Suddenly, he was choking back tears.  In the 18 years since Melissa died, Peter never grieved.  His time was spent caring for Marie and just trying to live and make a life.  He invested everything into his daughter.  His identity was his daughter and his work.  It was now dawning on him that he had no life outside of Marie and work.  Now what would he do when she was gone?  Rather than start crying like a baby he knew he had to switch tactics. 

“Do you remember some of things we used to do in the car?”

“Of course, I do.  What game do you want to play?”

That was balm for Peter’s soul.  They began playing road games and singing songs.  They bonded over the next hour of the trip.  They remembered the good times.  They made memories for this trip.  They enjoyed their time together.  As they entered the city of Marie’s college, there was a roundabout.  As they neared it, Marie asked, “Daddy, can we do something?”

“What’s that?”

“Let’s go around the roundabout a couple times.”

“What?”

“You know, don’t just turn off at our turn.  Let’s go completely around the whole thing a couple times.”

Peter didn’t reply.  He just grinned as he looked out the corner of his eye at Marie.  She noticed the look and smiled.  Peter started around the roundabout and said, “This will be our new road trip thing, ok?”

“Ok.”

After finishing the first lap, Peter accelerated slightly and both of them could feel the G forces push them to the right.  Marie giggled and Peter remembered how he loved her laughter when she was a baby.  Peter joined his daughter with a chuckle of his own.  He accelerated a bit more for the third lap and the wheels began to squeal.  Then he slowed to make his turn.  In unison, they said, “That was fun.”

Moving in was uneventful.  Peter met Marie’s roommate, Jenny, and her family.  After everything in the dorm was set up, the parents headed to an auditorium for an orientation.  Once that was done, Jenny’s parents had a rushed but tearful goodbye.  They faced a long drive home.  Peter took the girls out to dinner.  Just watching how they interacted, Peter felt they were a good match for each other. 

Later that night, he as on the side of his bed and stared at the clock radio for a moment.  His little girl was grown.  He was a little sad but filled with pride.  She was a nice young lady.  He said out loud, “Ya done good, dad.”