Thankfulness: It’s a matter of focus

In a society that covets, thankfulness can be a difficult thing.  If you spend your life looking at people who have things you want, you will never be grateful  I have posted before that the key to thankfulness is knowing what you have.  Too many people think they aren’t rich because they keep up with the Kardashians.  I recently saw a statistic saying people whose income is more than $30,000 USD per year are in the top 1% of worldwide income earners.  I agree that sounds unbelievable.  Still, if your measuring stick for possessions is someone who seems to have anything they want, you will never find contentment.  You must change your focus.

We must open our eyes and see what we have.  Do you have family and friends who love you?  You are blessed.  Do you have a car, television, cell phone, computer or a home?  You are blessed.  Perhaps you have none of these.  There are still blessings in life.  Are you healthy?  Can you hear, see, taste or feel?  You are blessed. 

If you base your happiness on things, you will never be satisfied.  Things can break and become useless.  Also, there is no shortage of newer things coming to market.  You will go broke getting them all and you will find futility in chasing after them.  Not one thing that can be bought will ever touch you and your life the way another human can. 

Put your focus on what you already have and those you love.  My sister likes to say we should invest our lives into things that will outlast it.  Create a lasting legacy by helping those in need.  Give as you receive.  Just because you have doesn’t mean it is meant for you.  Change your thinking.  Give to others and live a thankful life. 

A New Story: Mom

Marcus looked at the display on his cell phone.  His mother was calling.  He answered, “Hi mom.  How are you?”

“Hi Marcus.  I am well and how is my favorite youngest son?”

“He is well too.”

“Did you eat breakfast this morning?”

“I always do, mom.”

“What’d you eat?”

Marcus sighed.  This happens every time, he thought.  “I had cereal, orange juice and a banana.”

“What kind of cereal?”

“Jeez, mom, you always do this.  I had raisin bran.”  He lied. It was Captain Crunch.

“I don’t want you to get sick.  If you eat right, you can fight off diseases.”

“I know, mom.  You always say that.”

“I know I pester you but I love you.  That’s how I show it.”

“Yes mom.”

“So what’s new with you?”

There was no way he was going to mention with Julie.  She would latch onto that topic and… He didn’t even want to think about it.  Instead, Marcus brought up the work he did on the supervisor’s presentation and how he found the error while under a deadline.  Topics switched to his dad’s health and his brother’s as a newlywed.  The call ended after 15 minutes.  While Marcus genuinely loved his mother, sometimes she smothered her family too much.  Consequently, both he and his brother were anxious to go to college and never moved back. 

He thought about Julie.  He was infatuated with getting to know her better.  It had been just over a year since Kathy broke off their relationship.  He was deeply hurt but now felt ready to be in a relationship again.  Marcus was beginning to understand that he put too much of himself into a relationship in the early stages.  Somehow, he needed to pull back a little. 

As he pondered who he believed Julie to be, he felt she had more substance than kathy.  He wouldn’t call Julie a beauty queen.  He felt her allure came from her soul.  He believed that was what made her different from his previous relationships.  Julie was a genuine person.  She was not fake.  She did not pretend to be someone other than who she was.  She was real.  Oh, to be with someone who was real. 

Marcus wanted to go on a real date with Julie.  He wanted to hold hands and snuggle and give her sweet kisses.  He closed his eyes and savored the idea.  He could picture himself stroking her hair, caressing her cheek.  He wanted to envelope her in his arms.  He wanted to hold her, protect her.  He opened his eyes.  He would make it happen. 

A New Story: Not a Typical Night

Bob was sitting in his chair nursing a beer when Marsha arrived.  The sight of him sitting there again disgusted her.  She wished he would have started something for dinner.  If he would peel carrots or potatoes or simply chopped onions her life would be easier.  Instead, they had defined roles in the house.  He worked outside.  She worked inside.  While Bob did put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher, that didn’t stop Marsha from wishing he would help more around the house. 

Her husband meticulously maintained each vehicle.  In the winter, he had Marsha’s car warmed up and ready to go when she left in the morning.  While Marsha appreciated this, she still grumbled he should clean out the garage.  Then they wouldn’t need to park their cars outside.

Throwing her keys and purse onto the kitchen table, Marsha asked, “How was your day, darlin’?”

Bob got up and walked to his wife to give her his obligatory kiss.  “Today was fine?  How ‘bout you?”

Normally, Marsha would go into details about various aspects of her day.  Bob would partially listen to her drone on and make corresponding nods, noises or gestures to certain phrases and catch words.  Marsha’s mind was filled with dread over the whole missing card incident and knew she couldn’t mention it to Bob.  She couldn’t think of anything else that happened during the day.  Therefore, she simply replied, “My day was fine too.”

Bob noted the different and short reply.  He also caught a troubled tone in her voice.  Had they been newlyweds, he would have gladly been her knight in shining armor.  There was a time when they were crazy about each other.  Now they drove each other crazy.  Hence, Bob was simply happy not to have to listen to her talk about nothing for the next 30 minutes or more. 

Since he was sure Marsha would start complaining about what he hadn’t done since arriving at the house, He asked, “What shall we have for dinner?” 

She stopped and looked at him for a moment, thinking.  Finally, she replied, “I don’t want to cook a darn thing.”

“Well, you wanna go out?”

“Yes.”

“Well, where you wanna go?”

“I don’t know.  Can’t you make a decision for once in your life?”

“I would if you’d stop second guessing every decision I make.”

On a typical day, this would be the beginning of a fight.  Instead, Marsha had no energy or the stomach to deal with it.  Bob’s guard was up and ready for battle.  He was surprised to hear her reply, “Why don’t we go to that buffet place.  Isn’t tonight their steak special?  How does that sound?”  Stunned, Bob looked at Marsha.  What is going on here?  Then he followed Marsha to the door. 

Bob was happy to fill up on steak and baked potatoes.  He even managed to eat a small salad so Marsha wouldn’t complain he should eat healthier.  As always, he felt it necessary to get his money’s worth of food and he overate.  Then he had to make room for dessert.  Driving home, Bob repeatedly took deep breaths and felt indigestion and heartburn.  Finally, he said, “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.”

Knowing the reference, Marsha let out a slight chuckle and replied, “You ate it, Ralph.”

A New Story: Nothing More, Nothing Less

Marsha’s stomach churned.  On the one hand, she was certain she wasn’t being accused but how dare Julie be so direct. 

Kim asked, “What?  Do you think someone took it?” 

Julie made eye contact with Marsha and then both ladies as she responded, “I can’t imagine anyone in this office doing such a thing but it is a curious thing.”

Anita asked, “Have you checked with the cleaning people or management?”

“Well, no.  I was heading to my office and, since the three of you were standing here…”  Julie trailed off. 

Finally, Marsha spoke up. “Well, darlin’ I hope you can find your card.  I’m sure there is a logical reason it is missing.  Do you know what it looks like?”

“Actually, no.  They said the envelope is purple and they put it on my keyboard.”

“I’m so sorry darlin’.  I feel awful for ya but if we see somethin’ like that you’ll be the first to know, iddn’t that right ladies?”  Anita and Kim agreed as Julie expressed her thanks and headed for her cubicle.  It didn’t seem normal for Marsha to be the last to make a comment about an issue.  She always freely speaks her mind and isn’t shy about it.  Julie was certain Marsha knew something and probably was the one to take it.  After arriving at her desk, she sent an email to her manager advising something was missing from her office. 

Marsha’s mind raced.  No accusations were made and she knew her 29 Club friends suspected nothing.  Still, her stomach churned.  Oh, she hated this feeling.  It was as if she was trapped and vultures were circling.  She told herself, “Think positive, Marsha.  No one knows and you are innocent until proven guilty. But you are guilty.  You did it and you know you did.” 

It was time to focus on work.  Marsha had to get her state of mind right.  She began looking through emails received during her lunch break.  About the time she finished reading the last unread message, a new one arrived from her manager.  The subject line was “Missing Item.” 

Marsha felt panic start to rise.  Now management knew.  The more she considered her options, the more she realized the card in her purse could become very bad for her.  She had to get rid of it as soon as possible.  She decided to take action then and there.  She walked with her purse to the women’s restroom.  She would dispose of the card in the trash can in the stall she would use.  No one would look there and even if someone did, it was unlikely someone would make the effort to retrieve it. 

Since Marsha was so anxious about the card and so intent to get rid of it, she didn’t notice the need to relieve herself.  Once she sat down with her purse on her knees, nature took its course.  After completing her business, she waited for two ladies to exit the restroom.  She leaned down and glanced under the stall.  Seeing no feet, Marsha wrapped her hand in toilet paper.  Then she moved some of the contents in the trash can to the side.  With her other hand, she retrieved the card and dropped it into the bottom of the can.  Then moved the contents back to what she considered a natural looking position.  Finally, she felt the tension begin to ease. 

Returning to her cubicle, Marsha was surprised to see Anita trying to enter the restroom as she was exiting.  Anita noted the purse hanging from Marsha’s shoulder.  Anita knew Marsha was menopausal and wanted to ask.  She wanted to question the purse she saw but knew Marsha would consider it highly inappropriate to ask such things in a public setting.  She didn’t want to endure the glare she would receive.  Instead, she simply smiled and nodded as they crossed paths. 

Back at her desk, Marsha seethed that she may not be completely in the clear.  It was one thing to be taken down but management or even Julie.  Anita?  That twit!  She was loyal but if she said something stupid or even without knowing, someone else may get suspicious.  Marsha saw the look in her eyes.  She questioned the purse in the ladies room.  When the time was right, Marsha would simply say was spotting.  Nothing more, nothing less. 

A New Story: Plátanos Maduros

Marcus was troubled by the missing card he left on Julie’s keyboard.  Someone must have taken it.  Who would do such a thing and why?  He fully understood he didn’t know people very well in Julie’s department.  Still, he thought he worked in a professional environment.  Taking a gift or token meant from another seemed childish at best.  He didn’t want to consider the worst.

He and Julie walked to a Cuban restaurant three blocks from the office during lunch.  The couple walked side by side but didn’t hold hands.  There was no physical contact between them.  Though a word was never said, they both understood it was best not to show public displays of affection in a work environment.  It extended to the surrounding area where coworkers may be.  Neither of them wanted to give the office gossips any ammunition. 

As they stood in line looking at the menu, Julie asked Marcus, “What are plátanos maduros? 

“Those are ripe plantains.  Sort of like bananas but bigger.  To me, they are like a dessert.  I love them.” 

Stepping closer to the front of the line, Julie murmured, “I can’t decide!”

“I’m gonna get a Cuban sandwich and the plátanos.  Ya can’t go wrong with that.”

“What’s in a Cuban sandwich?”

Marcus frowned slightly as he tried to come up with a quick description. “It’s sorta like a ham and cheese sub Panini but it doesn’t have ridges when they squish it.  It’s good.  I think you’d like it.  Do you like ham and cheese sammiches?”

“Yes.”

They both ordered Cuban sandwiches and plátanos maduros.  When they sat at a table waiting for their orders, Marcus felt his hand being drawn toward Julie’s.  He saw flashes of their ride home from the hike in the back of John’s jeep.  The euphoria of holding Julies hand was omnipresent in his mind.  His hand could feel hers in his and it made the pull between their hands stronger.  As he started to move his hand across the table toward hers, Marcus spied the server bringing their food and he stopped.

However slight the movement, Julie noticed his intentions.  She welcomed the thought for her mind was filled with the same feelings.  However, Julie’s stomach called for her attention and the arriving food was a welcome sight.  The couple munched their food hardily.  Marcus broached the subject of the missing card.  He described the card he left at her desk and wondered aloud where it could be.  Finally, he asked, “Do you think someone could have taken it?”

“I have my suspicions.”

“Who?”

“I’d rather not say right now.  I want to see if I can learn anything or see anything first.” 

“Ok.”

They finished the meal with innocuous chit chat.  Julie asked Marcus if he wanted the last two of her plantains.  He was happy to gobble them up.  Julie’s right hand was resting on the table.  Marcus popped a morsel into his mouth with his right hand while reaching his left to Julie.  The instant she felt his tough, Julie smiled and wrapped her fingers around his.  She was content.  She was happy.  Unlike past relationships, she felt Marcus was a decent man.  She hoped, if the relationship should grow, this would be a new story. 

Upon returning to the office, Julie decided to audacious.  She would be nice but bold.  Rather than going to her cubicle, Julie marched to Marsha who was standing outside her cube talking with a couple ladies from the “29 Club.”  As she approached, Julie called out, “Good afternoon ladies!”

After hearing the standard greetings, Julie stated, “I hope you can help me.  A friend of mine left a card in my office recently but I haven’t seen it.  Do you know if one has been found?”

A New Story: Your Momma Does Not Work Here

Marsha arrived in her cubicle and saw there were no voicemails waiting for her.  She smiled at the thought of starting the day with no deals.  She turned on a small lamp next to her computer.  She liked the atmosphere it created.  It made everything seem more like home than an office.  Next, she pushed the power button on her computer.  All the while, the card was foremost in her thoughts.  What did it say?

 

With her computer still booting up, she retrieved the card from her purse.  It was sealed.  She knew if she opened it, she could never hide that it had been opened.  Wait a minute!  Her dad used to collect stamps and he would use a teapot to steam stamps from envelopes.  Did she want to wait until she got home to see what the card said?  No.  Besides, she’d have to deal with Bob questioning her actions.  If she was going to read it, it would be here and now. 

 

Just then she heard noises of people entering the office.  Most everyone stops by to say hello in the morning.  She quickly stuffed the card back into her purse.  She didn’t’ believe anyone suspected anything out of the ordinary had happened.  Still, she decided to get some coffee and get the day started. 

 

Judy’s voice from the cubicle three cubes down rung out, “Good morning, Marsha.”

 

“Mornin’ darlin’.  How are ya?”

 

“Good.  How are you?”

 

“I’ll let cha know after I get coffee.”

 

Taking her keychain, she flipped through the set until she found the one to unlock the drawers at her desk.  Once unlocked, Marsha opened the bottom drawer and retrieved her mug.  She spun around in her office chair and walked to the office Keurig. 

 

She was disgusted the moment she saw the machine.  Again, someone did not clean up the mess they made or refill the K-Cups in the drawers.  Marsha seethed while looking over the coffee selection.  At least there was one left of her favorite coffee.  She anticipated the aroma of French Vanilla in her nostrils.  She started her cup and went to the cleaning cabinet.  She began cleaning the counter and outside of the Keurig.  Once cleaning was finished, she did a quick restock of the coffee supply, creamers and sweeteners. 

 

After returning to her desk, she inhaled the aroma with her eyes closed.  Then she took a sip.  For a moment, she was content.  Her head cocked slightly as an idea hit her.  She began typing into a Word document on her computer.  After a bit of formatting, she was happy with the result.  She printed off the document and walked to the printer with a piece of tape on her index finger.  After affixing the sheet above the Keurig, she approvingly viewed the sign she made.  It read:

 

This area doesn’t clean itself

If you dirty it, clean it

If you empty it, refill it

If you mess it up, clean it up

Your momma does not work here

A New Story: No One Would Know

Menopause symptoms had been a part of Marsha’s life for seven months.  She hated the hot flashes.  She had had a hot flash during the night.  She kicked off the covers and opened her nightgown.  No relief.  Not even close.  Her husband, Bob, had pulled the covers back to cover himself again.  It was 65 degrees in the house and Bob felt chilled without the covers.  Marsha felt as those her body was a blast furnace. 

 

Only now did she finally understand a scene from her childhood.  Something woke her during a cold winter night and she noticed a cold breeze entering her room.  She heard her mother make a noise and her father plead, “Oh please Martha.  It’s freezing!”

 

Sleepy eyed, little Marsha shuffled her feet to the room of her parents.  She was stunned to see her mom, arms raised, standing naked in front of an open window with the winter cold blowing in.  Her father was shivering under the covers.  He little mind couldn’t comprehend the scene before her and she quietly returned to her bed.  She never mentioned what she saw and always wondered if it was a dream.  Not anymore!  Marsha was certain it was no dream.

 

What bothered Marsha the most was mood swings.  Changes in mood due to her monthly cycle were one thing.  These were worse.  Marsha’s temperament confounded by the fact that Bob never reacted in the manner she wanted.  Their marriage had been bumpy at times but the bumps became very rocky once they became empty nesters.  All the issues the children hid became plain.  Now that attitudes in the house weren’t tempered “for the sake of the children” years of heartache poured out of them both.

 

If Marsha felt weepy and needed comfort, Bob didn’t care.  This made Marsha angry and Bob reacted with a defensive posture.  The silent treatment came next.  Bob had long felt he was the victim.  This change of life in his spouse simply made life worse and he had long given up.  He was resigned to never being happy.  Bob’s distance made Marsha feel abandoned and made her want to cry.  Then then cycle started again. 

 

In many ways, work was a respite for what her life truly was.  She was a failure.  Her parents had been her bulwarks and were pillars in the community.  They weren’t perfect but did strive to do their best.  Perhaps they spoiled their only child.  It is hard not to spoil the joy of your life.  Still, Marsha came to expect things in her perfect life and always worked to maintain that perfection if it was only a façade. 

 

When Marsha arrived at work early, she noticed Marcus turn the corner from the hallway into his office area.  Instinct told her to swing by Julie’s cubicle.  Upon seeing a purple colored envelope resting on the keyboard, she just had to take it.  She stood on her tiptoes to peer over the cubicle walls to see if there was any movement.  Satisfied no one was in the office; she picked up the card and listened to the surroundings as she placed it in her purse.  She was certain no one would know.