The Blind Beggar: Part XIV

Boulos lay on his cot as his mind whirled.  He retraced the feel of Amal’s face and thrilled at the thought.  He had touched his love after so many years.  His heart ached to enjoy her presence in the here and now.  To know she was alive and well was heaven. 

Emotions and thoughts rushed so fast it began to overwhelm him.  Therefore, he concentrated on his surroundings.  In the room, he could hear the hum of the lights overhead.  Then he noticed the sound of a man beginning to snore.  This man snored with a ferocity Boulos wished he was deaf rather than blind. 

Noises came to him from outside.  The window was four cots away.  He could faintly pick out the evening crickets.  Then he noticed a group of people speaking loudly.  Boulos believed it to be a party of some kind.  He imagined a birthday party for he heard the excited voices of children mixed with adult voices.  There was merriment in their sounds. 

A breeze blew in through the window and Boulos caught the faintest hint of rain.  He remembered his uncle often saying that if we wish to see the rainbow, we must have rain.  He suddenly felt melancholy and longed to see a rainbow.  Of course, that would never happen.  Still, Boulos believed he would never see Amal again but he did mere hours ago.  Miracles do happen. 

Boulos sent his spirit to Amal hoping she would hear him.  In his heart and from the bottom of his soul he said to her, “My Amal, you cannot imagine how my spirit soared to finally be with you even for those briefest of moments.  Even now it all seems a dream, my angel.  Oh hear me, my love.  I could never say it when we were young but I have always loved you.  The whole of your life is joy to me.  Oh, that I could see you again.  I hang in this balance.  Seeing you is heaven but now that I’ve seen you, to not be with you is hell.”

He felt tears well up in his eyes.  He rolled over to his side and pulled the sheet up to cover his face.  Boulos continued, “Oh my Amal, my Amal.  In my heart you are always mine.  How I wish that could be so but our lives are on different paths.  To what purpose did God cause our paths to intersect?  I am a shipwrecked man.  I drank brine and I am mad in my desire for more.  Oh God, how can I go on?  Amal, my Amal, please know my heart” 

Amal finished putting the children to bed and went to the kitchen to finish cleaning.  She stopped and closed her eyes for a moment.  She could feel Ali’s touch on her face and she raised her hands to mimic what she felt.  Her fingers danced across her eyes and cheeks.  Again, she felt the thrill of Ali’s touch.  Euphoria leapt in her soul.  Her spirit was no longer confined to her heart but flew through the sky above her flat.  She smiled as her body began to sway to an unheard melody.  A symphony of angelic instruments played and she was in harmony with the tune.

“What are you doing? Her husband called out.

Reality plummeted and crashed down.  Embarrassed and ashamed, Amal looked at her husband but said nothing.  He asked, “Did you not hear me?  What are you doing?”

“I was cleaning the kitchen.”

“No, you were just standing there like a fool with your hands on your face.  What is that all about?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know anything.  Hurry and finish in here.  I want you in bed quickly.”

Faith and Dreams

The ingredients that give

life it's sweet flavor

Both exist only in the

hearts and minds of those

bold enough to have faith

and dream dreams

Neither can be proven in the

physical sense

but it lifts the bold ones

to new heights

Faith and dreams

Mysteries solved and

mountains climbed

They shine light in the

dark hour

Hope in a no-win

situation

The eyes that see the

unseen path

The way to the stars 

Copyright 2005 Duane Windell Phillips

Wind

The air that surrounds our earth has such an important role in every aspect of our lives and yet we never take notice of it.  We can hear wind and see it's affects but we never actually see it.  And yet, without air life ceases.  

Wind can fill your sails and give you power.  You can streak across the horizon with excitement and know that you are going somewhere.  When you are on the montaintops of life the air is behind you.  It is with you.  However, you can have the wind knocked out of you.  You collapse to the ground gasping for life.  You are wounded and wonder how you will carry on.  

More than likely, you have had both types of circumstances in your life.  Perhaps you won a contest, found your love, got an A, or just experienced a triumphant moment with a friend.  The wind is strong and life is all around you.  Or maybe your parents died, you lost your job, your best friend moved, or you lost your love.  Life has been sucked from you and you don't know how you will carry on.  

Whether we are in a desert valley or a peak experience, God breathes life into us.  If you are high, enjoy it while you can.  If you are low, believe that the wind will move you again.  The breeze will sustain you.  Your time will come.  

Nature

Pastoral meadows, strolling rivers

wash over my weariness

I gaze and soak in the beauty around me

Snow capped peaks, glaciers breaking and

crashing into the sea

The visions stir my soul

Swaying branches, gentle breezes

flow across my skin

It wears away my stony shell

Nature transports me to a brighter world

It is such a plastic life I live

So much is man made but

let nature be real and wipe it away

Sandy beaches, waves crashing

over to continue the cycle

Life is more than what I see 

Copyright 2005 Duane Windell Phillips

I See A Day

I see a day when weapons of war cease to exist

and mankind can look each other in the eyes

I see a day when all will enjoy spring in their

hearts and crime will stop because it no longer

has a place in our lives

I see a day when humanity will show genuine love

from the heart and as a means of receiving

I see a day when freedom will rum rampant and

even those ignorant of their slavery will taste the

sweetness of life

I see a day when the word “law” is no longer in

use because each will do what is right concerning

his brother

I see a day when shame and sorrow are

swallowed up along with death and destruction

and they will no longer have victory 

Copyright 2005 Duane Windell Phillips

The Blind Beggar: Part XIII

Two weeks later, Boulos continued to receive regular meals and he rotated bathing at different shelters.  It was clear at this point he would be able to move into a room in a building run by a Christian organization in eight more days.  Also, a Muslim businessman had Boulos help his son sell his wares in a local market. 

Nerves filled Boulos each morning he walked to work but they were less and less each day.  Daily there were stops and starts but Boulos was getting used to a new routine.  For the first time since living with his uncle, Boulos felt purpose in his life.  There was the faintest of glimmers he may actually live and not merely survive. 

Around midday, Daiwik arrived to offer a hot bath and meal after work.  Boulos was happy to accept the offer.  Daiwik promised to return at the end of the day and assist to his house.  Like the last time, the bath was grand and Madhura made a wonderful meal.  As they began the meal, the phone rang.  There was a problem in one of the apartments and Daiwik needed to correct the issue.  After, completing the call, Daiwik said, “I am sorry my friend but I must attend to business.  It should not be long but as you know, I care for this lovely building and sometimes it takes me away for a while.”

“No, no that's fine.  Should I…”

“One moment please, my friend.  I must make a call.”  Boulos then heard him say, “Hello my friend.  I hope you are well.  Yes, I am thank you very much.  May I trouble you to come down and be with my lovely wife for a few minutes while I attend to business in the building?  Thank you very much.”

Then he said to Madhura, “Amal will come be with you, my dear, while I am gone.”

Madhura smiled.  “Thank you.  We can discuss our herb gardens.” 

Amal.  Boulos heard the name and he was briefly transported to a young girl who once held his heart.  Actually, she still held it.  After all the years, simply thinking the name was a pleasant moment. 

Shortly, there was a knock on the door and Daiwik opened it and after a brief greeting, he was gone.  Madhura closed the door.  Then he heard Madhura say, “I arranged for a problem to arise for my husband to fix.  He will not be gone long.  Let me introduce you to Boulos.  Amal, this is Boulos and Boulos, this is Amal.”

Boulos stood and extended his hand.  “It is nice to meet you.”

There was silence in the room and he sensed no movement toward him.  He also sensed emotion but could not understand it.  Then he heard a voice say, “Ali?”  He hadn’t heard that name in too many years.  Something about the voice spoke to him on a level words cannot explain. 

He thought it was the voice of an angel calling him home.  He waited to see the light of heaven but when it didn’t appear he believed it was his mind playing tricks.  Again, her heard, “Ali, is that you?  It’s me Amal.”

His mind raced.  Amal!  Amal? Amal!  It was an angel.  He called out, “Amal?  Amal, is that really you?  My Amal?”

“Yes, my dear sweet Ali.  It is me.”  She took hold of his hand that was out searching for her.  She kissed the callouses on his hand.  It was sheer joy.  It was a sweet balm to his dry soul. 

Excitement rushed through him. “Oh Amal, my Amal.  Let me see you.”  With that, she let him feel her face.  Tingles followed his fingers as Ali felt her nose and eyes.  Then he traced her cheeks, eyebrows and lips.  Amal closed her eyes and was transported to the last time Ali looked at her in this way.  At the time he said his vision was like having a cloth over his head.  He could only see light and shadow.

Finally, Ali said, “Oh my dear Amal.  I’ve missed you so.  You’ve gotten fat.”  Amal playfully hit him on the shoulder like when they were young.  Ali continued as he smiled, “Your life is good, yes?” 

“I am blessed my Ali.  My husband provides for my three children and me.  I have missed you.  Where have you been?”

Boulos explained he had gone to his uncle when Amal married and was about to continue when Madhura interrupted, “Quickly, my husband will return soon.” 

Amal hastened to say to Ali, “Tell no one else of our friendship, please.” 

“I would shout it from the mountains for nothing makes me happier than knowing you but if you wish it my Amal, I will take it to my grave.”

With that, Daiwik returned.  He said laughingly, “I am back my lovely wife and dear friends.  It was a false alarm.  Amal, my friend, thank you for being with my dear wife.  And you met our friend Boulos?”

“Yes, I did meet him.  It was a pleasure.”

When Boulos heard Amal leave the room, he willed his spirit to hers.  He told her of his undying love for her.  With every fiber of his being he wanted her to know how much it hurt to leave when she married but he saw no other way.  Oh would she hear him?  He could never interfere with her happiness.  He wanted her to have the life he could never give.  Though it broke his heart, he loved her enough to let her go. 

Life is a Gift but it Cannot be Neatly Packaged

I am the last of the Baby Boomers.  Honestly, I’ve never considered myself one but, based on when I was born, that’s who I am.  (I missed being a Gen Xer by a few weeks.)  I have four kids of my own and they are Millennials.  I love my kids but I have noticed things with that generation that makes me wonder about their future.  Please know I realize there are exceptions to everything I’m about to say.

First, they grew up getting rewarded just for showing up.  I never liked the thought of giving participation trophies unless there were also awards for most improved or MVP.  If we aren’t challenged to be better than the one next to us, we never will.  I’m not saying we should be competitive in all we do but it has been said iron sharpens iron.  We are strengthened by those around us.  I believe we are ultimately weakened by lack of challenge in life. 

Second, too many kids have parents who do everything for them.  This dovetails into what I noted above.  When someone continually runs interference for you, how do you learn coping skills?  When parents continually limit real world exposure to their kids, they grow up not knowing what life really is.  By saying real world exposure, I mean easy things like allowing kids to climb trees, use tools or simply wrecking their bike.  Life is out there.  Parents do no help for their kids if they always protect them from it.  They should caringly, lovingly allow children to explore their world and even to learn they can be hurt while they are in it.  Children must learn coping skills and that is only done when life challenges them to do so.

Third, Millennials are the generation that has been repeatedly told they can do whatever they want in life.  Many of them want to make a difference.  This is great.  I hope and pray they make every difference in this world for the good and benefit of all mankind.  I also hope they don’t get discouraged whenever they feel like they aren’t making an impact.  They are used to instant gratification.  Making a difference doesn’t always come easily or quickly. You have to keep plugging away.  You fail when you stop.  This leads me to my last point.

There are no guarantees in life.  Just because you pour your heart and soul into something doesn’t mean you will be successful.  We are currently in the NFL playoffs.  There are 8 teams left and 24 of them are already disappointed.  More teams will be disappointed soon.  On the road of human existence, there are floods, earthquakes, forest fires, hurricanes, divorce, cancer, abandonment, death etc. 

We want to believe we are different and the laws of nature don’t apply to us.  Tell that to the countless numbers of people through human existence lost to wars, disease and accidents.  Each of them had the potential to leave an awesome mark on this blue planet.  For whatever reason, they never got the chance.  Too many people with wonderful dreams couldn’t pursue them because they first had to survive slavery, the Great Depression, genocide or Aleppo. 

Yes, you can do anything you want in this world.  You have amazing potential.  We must remember life is a gift but it cannot be neatly packaged.