Christmas 1991
was a wonderful holiday for us. My oldest daughter was about 6 weeks old
and we were in a nice, new apartment. Mom and dad were coming to visit
for Christmas. The plans were made that as soon as dad got off of work,
they would drive down from Ham Lake, MN to our place in Glendale Heights, Il.
All of us were
excited to see them. It seemed the perfect holiday. While the
temperature wasn't too cold, there was snow on the ground. Our oldest son
was 7. He had such an spring in his step in the days leading up to
Christmas. He was so good with his baby sister. All of us had
smiles.
After supper on
Christmas Eve, we sang Christmas carols and opened a couple presents. My
wife put the baby down to sleep and she went to sleep too. That left the
2 men of the house. D wanted to stay awake until grandma and grandpa
arrived or until Santa got to the house, whichever came first. Of course,
I wanted him to go to sleep.
Normally, D will
fall asleep as soon as he is tired. He still is like that. He was
visiting a couple months ago and I woke up in the middle of the night and heard
the TV on. I went down to shut it off. He was sitting in a chair
that he put right in front of the TV. He was slumped over with his head
almost on his knee. I shut the TV off and told him to go to bed.
"No, I was watching that." he said.
This night was
different. I could see the determination in his eyes that he wanted to
stay awake. I decided to try someting. It would be a time of
bonding and would probably knock him out. When I was younger, I started
doing something each holiday season that I still do each holiday season.
I lay down on the floor close to the Christmas tree and look at the
lights. Sometimes I do this with music and sometimes without music.
I look at the lights and feel the peacefulness of the moment. I particularly
love doing this when it is snowing. There is something special about
Christmas and snow for me.
D and I got down
on the floor next to the tree and I told him about my tradition and how I was
sharing this with him. We did this for a couple minutes and he got bored
and wanted to do something else. Darn! That didn't work. We
read a couple stories and something else that I know longer remember. He
was still awake.
Finally, I had
to pull the parenting trump card. I said, "You need to go to sleep
or Santa is never going to come to this house." Finally, he relented
as long as he could sleep on the floor next to the tree. That was fine
with me. Once he is out, you could drop him off a bridge with a bungee
cord tied to him and a bomb that would go off when he stretches the cord and he
wouldn't wake up.
Sure enough, in
about 5 minutes he was out. Santa arrived shortly after and grandma and
grandpa about 20 minutes after that. D didn't wake up until daylight
despite talking for hours and later making breakfast.
One other thing
that stands out about that Christmas is the relationship that built between my
daughter and mom. B was a good baby, but she was a little fussy when
grandma was there. Finally, mom said that she thought B was hungry.
My wife said that she just fed her. My mom made a couple more
ounces of formula and fed it to her. She gobbled it all up to my wife's
surprise. While mom was feeding her, B just kept looking at her like she
was trying to figure out who she was.
From this early
age, B seemed aware of things. A few days before, I as listening to the
song All is Well and I had a few
tears in my eyes. I was holding B as I listened to this song. She
kept looking at me and it seemed like she was trying to ask why I was crying.
This is partially why the song means so much to me now.
B and my mom
developed a special bond in the short time they were together. They would
only spend Valentines Day and a couple other days together before mom died.
The holidays are
a difficult time for people who have lost loved ones. I know this first
hand. However, when the pain of the loss has subsided, the memories of
them burn brighter than ever. I wouldn't trade these memories for
anything.
