Groundhog Day Prayers

A few years ago, I saw a challenge to pray something that Jesus told His disciples to do in Matthew chapter 9:36-38.  “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.’”

I thought it was a good thing to do since I have a heart for the needy.  I don’t remember now how many years ago that was but I have missed only a few days praying this.  In the meantime, other prayers have been added to the list.  This year, I decided to pray some things for myself I believe are impossible.  Is anything too hard for an almighty, all-knowing God?  

Here are a few of the things I pray for myself:

That God would reveal to me things I believe to be true but aren’t.  Then knowing the lies I’ve believed, that He would give me to wisdom and guts to do what was necessary to make the needed changes.  

That I wouldn’t put God in a box.  

That I would remove Him for the boxes I already have Him in.

That I would never condemn God to justify myself.

If these prayers make no sense to you, please know this:  I want to believe in God with all my heart and to do so without error.  I have been taught some erroneous things about God in the past.  I don’t want that in the future.  

Have you ever prayed for something but only heard crickets?  To knock on a door repeatedly with no answer?  I have run the gamut of ways these prayers have been sent to heaven.  

With anguish and sincerity 

With earnestness

With beautiful and colorful verbiage 

Saying the words because it is the thing to do

Going through the motions

Just getting it done

Praying while very distracted

Just checking off the to-do list

Not praying at all

I still return to it.  Prayer.  I sometimes hear and learn things that encourage me.  I press forward.  Sometimes other prayers are clearly answered.  I press forward.  

Why does God make us (me) pray for things for so long without answer?  Is He testing me to see if I really am sincere?  Does something else have to happen before He will move?  Does He want my heart to change?  

Who knows, maybe it is all these reasons and more.  Maybe it is none of them.  One thing I have learned recently is this:  As I pray for things I wish were different in this world, I find myself hoping the heart of mankind would change. I find that my heart breaks for the needs of the oppressed. I hope and pray the hearts of those who are evil will break and they will turn to God and repent.  

In these days of repeated prayers, I find I am changing.  Oh, that I will change even more.