Hope For Me

Sometimes life drops down so strong

I don’t know where I belong

I blew it time and again

Oh how I need a friend

I am stretching and reaching

What lesson is life teaching?

Will I e’er sing a new song

Now that my strength is gone

Chorus

Lament and cry

I want to die

what foolishness I

have done

I need that magic moment

Where is the special fragment

to my soul sent from on high?

So help me please get by

I’m looking for my power

How I pray for the hour

with all eyes falling on me

I’m what I’m meant to be

Chorus

Lament and cry

wondering why

what foolishness I

have done

Bridge

Power, strength, light, love, and more

Help me reach the shore

Chorus

There’s light ahead

I am not dead

I have hope instead

for me

©2004

Old Family Picture

The picture you see was given to me by my father.  As you can see, it is an old picture.  After looking at it for a while, I asked dad if he knew anyone in the picture.  He did not.  However, there is another picture that contains two of the people in this one and they are noted as my great great grandpa David Phillips and his wife, Sarah. 

David is the very tall, white haired man in the last row, 4th from the right.  To his left is a very short man.  That is is son and my great grandpa George.  The woman directly in front of David is Sarah.  To Sarah's left is my great grandma Cora.  I was able to deduce the women and George only after identifying David.  I don't know anyone else in the picture.  Although, the man on the far left of the picture looks a little bit like Nathan Phillips Dodge, who could be related.

For a long time, I wondered what brought all of these people together and when where was it taken.  I know David and George lived in Nebraska and am certain it was taken there or, perhaps, Iowa.  That is where David and Sarah met and married.  After studying the picture for some time, here is what I believe I know:

This picture was taken in the Fall of 1904.  Based on the corn stalks on the ground in front of the group, it must have been taken after the harvest.  Why do I think 1904?  If you look closely at Cora, the women in front and a little to George's right, it appears she is holding a baby.  If she is, then I think it is my grandpa Leonard.  He was born in July 1904.

#genealogy #familyhistory

Emotions

I am an introspective person.  I have to ponder things.  Sometimes they are frivolous.  Sometimes they are big mysteries of life.  Today is one from the second camp.  I’ve been thinking about emotions and how they affect how we act and react.  Mostly, this is due to recent situations in my life.  I didn’t react in the best way possible.  Consequently, there were some dark clouds obscuring the sunshine in my life.  After some discussion about the issues, I felt better and the clouds departed.  I now realize it was my emotions.

Why do we have emotions?  What part of God’s creative process was the deciding factor in throwing that in the mixing pot?  While I realize He doesn’t want us automatically and blindly doing His bidding, what purpose do emotions serve?  Emotions or feelings can cause us to do things we may not do otherwise.  Perhaps I should add hormones to this group since hormones can affect our emotions.  As I consider all of this, I realize I have to work through it all because of the low I experienced. 

I won’t say emotions are bad.  On the contrary, without emotions or feelings we would never have mountaintop experiences.  It just stinks that there are valleys.  I understand there is joy in the whole journey and we have to take the good with the bad.  Nevertheless, when I look at the whole of what God has done for mankind and what I have learned recently, I believe the main reason for emotions is to bring glory to God. 

I continue to learn that man was created to bring glory to the Creator.  We cannot only live for the highs and believe we have God’s favor when things are good.  God is still worthy to be praised and worshipped when we are in the valley.  I am beginning to understand that the honor we give to the Lord when we trust while in the valley is worth more, in God’s economy, than our faith when on the mountaintop. 

When I woke up today before work, the chorus from the hymn Trust and Obey was going through my mind.  “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey.”  It goes back to what I said in my writing about prayer.  God wants us to continue knocking.  We are to pound on the door until we get an answer.  He wants to know if we are serious about our relationship with Him.  The valleys, as in my recent situation, are sometimes only our emotions or our reaction to a situation.  God is still God and He is still in control.  He wants to know if we are still serious about our relationship.  He wants to know if we will trust and obey anyway. 

So You Want to Go Back to Egypt

I noticed something when reading through the book of Numbers in the Old Testament.  Anyone who reads about the Israelites after they left slavery in Egypt will notice how often they grumbled against God, Moses, and Aaron.  They complained that they should have stayed in Egypt rather than die of hunger, thirst etc out in the desert.  Why did they think it was better to be in slavery than to be free in the desert with the God who performed so many miracles to bring them out of Egypt?

How many of us would rather be in bondage of any kind than live with the unknown?  We say we would do things differently but the history of mankind proves otherwise.  I think what it comes down to is this:  as humans, it is more important to us to be certain of something even if it is a bad thing, than to face the unknown.  Even a bad thing that is constant gives more security than the unknown. 

As beings created by an eternal God, why don't we have an innate ability to have faith.  God is pleased by your faith.  He is honored by it.  Why is it so hard?  I’ve heard faith described as a light that is strong enough only to illuminate your next step.  If you are like me, you want to know what the ultimate destination is and some of the milestones along the way.  God doesn’t work like that. 

In the process of living for Christ, we must relinquish the need to know what is next.  We must trust that the God who created us, has a plan for us.  It is a plan for prosperity and not calamity so we will have a future and a hope.  If faith just came naturally to us, how would God be honored when we trust?  It is when we trust in spite of the unknown that we show that we truly trust God and He is more important than our fear.  Oh God, let it be so for me.  

#faith #God #trust

I Leave You, You Lead Me

I leave You
You lead me
I deny You
You affirm me

Your thoughts are not my thoughts
My ways are below Your ways

One step closer
Two steps back
When I refuse to budge
You love me ahead

I study You
You shape me
I praise You
You bless me

You give me grace when I deserve justice 
You teach me to love above all else 
You are God almighty and ever lasting

What I believe to be God's View on Money

Matthew 25:14-30

For those of you who have attended church with any regularity, you may remember the parable Jesus told about the master who left the country and how he gave talents (money) to 3 of his servants.  One got 5 talents, the next, 2, and the last, 1, each according to their ability.  The one who got 5 worked and got 5 more and the one with 2 got 2 more.  The last one buried the talent and returned it to his master.  The master was mad at that servant and took it away and gave it to the one who got 5 talents.

I’m learning to trust God more with finances and it has been a long, slow road.  Doing mission trips to Costa Rica has helped my faith a lot.  We must understand that God owns everything.  Everything we have is on loan from Him.  He wants us to give Him the first fruits of all we have/get.  Think of it this way: Parents give more freedom and responsibility to their children as they prove faithful to handle it.  A boss gives more difficult or demanding work to the employees who are able to complete the task.  They don’t give the new guy the most important account.  The more importance something holds, the more trusted the person must be to handle it.  Have we proved our trustworthiness to God?  Does He trust us/me enough to give more to us/me?

When we are faithful to do so, He will give more because we first proved to be faithful with a little.  Malachi 3:10 says, “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house.  ‘Test me in this,’ says the LORD Almighty, ‘and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.’”

Remember the last part of the parable?  The master took away from the unfaithful servant and gave it to the one with 5 talents.  God will withhold from us when we are unfaithful.  Therefore, He tests us with our finances.  When we do get a little extra or even the minimum, what do we do?  Do we seek His will regarding it?  If you get a bonus at work, is your first thought to take a dream vacation or buy a new car/computer/TV?  Do you give God His due first?  Do you ask what He wants done with the remainder?  He gave it to you but maybe He wants to bless you by you blessing someone else.

This is what has gradually become clear to me:  When we are faithful to handle finances the way God wants us to, He will give us more and more.  He wants us to use that extra for His kingdom. One of the main reasons so many people are in need is due to the lack of individuals who will use their finances in the manner in which God wants it used.  

Rather than think of ourselves with our money, ask the Lord, “How should I use what You have given me?

#tithe #faithfulness

Once More for the Band

Stumble through the stages of a song,
Fumble with the phrases I've been counting on
For so long to get by,
And feeling they apply to everyone but me.
Jesus, I have stared so hard into the light,
My vision isn't what it used to be

But with every ounce of strength I'm saving the best until the end.
Once more with feeling, and once more by your hand,
And like a tune that's never fading, play through me again,
Once more with feeling, and once more for the band

Painted from the praises I suppose,
Framing every face I ever dared to show,
It all goes by so fast,
And here I am at last, waking from these dreams.
Jesus, I have listened to the crowds so long,

it's hard to hear your voice above the screams

But with every ounce of strength I'm saving the best until the end.
Once more with feeling, and once more by your hand,
And like a tune that's never fading, play through me again,
Once more with feeling, and once more for the band.

Lord, once more with feeling, and once more for the band

Crumbächer

 

#crumbacher  #memories