Even with the light of dawn brought by VE and VJ days, Rachel’s heart remained empty. To her, life was only struggle and privation. After the scarcity of The Great Depression and continual loneliness and sacrifice during the years of war, she didn’t believe hope was truly on the horizon. Too many people in her life had come and gone. Her father, mother, brothers, and two men she loved. All were gone.
Duke Ellington played “Take the A-Train” on the Victrola. This song, more than any other, placated the demons that stirred diabolical potions in her mind. They merrily bided their time for the perfect moment to dump the cauldron of poison on her soul. Then their tears of laughter mixed with Rachel’s tears of pain. If only she could take the A Train, maybe she could finally escape.
Rachel finished her dinner of liver loaf, mashed potatoes, and Melba toast. After cleaning the dishes and wiping down the table, she began to make coffee. How she wished she had sugar for the coffee but the war created so many shortages. The Duke Ellington band was quietly bringing the A-Train into the station. Softer and softer they played the refrain. Softly the music ended. It was bittersweet. The strains were a healing balm to her soul but when they ended, she knew the tigers could stir again. Rachel poured the coffee, inhaled the aroma, and relished the quiet moment.
Rachel stood at the window watching a world that went on without her. A comely woman with full lips and brown eyes, she always commanded the eyes of men when she fell within their field of vision. Early on, she found some comfort in the arms of a man. Then she learned if it wasn’t her, they would find another. Rachel only wanted to be special to someone. Being an object of desire was repulsive.
Rachel swapped albums and played “Let Me Call You Sweetheart.” Tears welled in her eyes. With coffee back in her hand, she returned to the window. The world continued. Alone in her small apartment, Rachel didn’t think she could.
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