I
suppose this post, and the tone it has, will seem strange for this holiday
season. However, I’ve had a convergence of thoughts and events and I need to
clear my mind. Writing often helps me
sort my thoughts.
This
blog and Instagram are my only social media platforms. One thing I’ve seen the last few years in
social media is the proliferation of uplifting quotes. Frankly, I’m annoyed by them. Please understand, I believe in the power of
positive thinking. However, there are
circumstances that come up in life that positive thoughts will not change.
My
grandma Phillips was forever changed after living through the Great
Depression. She often spoke of the
trials she and grandpa endured and the hopelessness people felt. They were willing to work, and work hard, but
no jobs were available.
There
is a refugee center near us and we hear their stories. They escaped with their lives and the clothes
they wore. Too many had to bury, or didn’t
have time to bury, loved ones. Now they
are shell shocked and simply move forward.
That’s all they know to do.
Every
year around Christmas time, I listen to the song “Christmas At Denny’s” by
Randy Stonehill. It reminds me of the dire
situations some people have and the level of desperation they feel. If you’ve never known hopelessness, you can’t
feel the weight of these lyrics:
oh when I was a boy
I believed in
Christmas
miracle season to
make a new start
I don't need no
miracle, sweet baby Jesus
just help me find
some kind of hope in
my heart
Can you feel that desperation?
What
causes hopelessness? It happens when you’ve
used the last of your money, you have no food in your house, your kids are
hungry and crying, and your car just broke down. You know what? There are people more desperate than
that. Hopelessness comes when you’ve
hoped and tried for years for something to improve or change but it never
does. Every effort you make doesn’t make
things any better.
What
about the people who are so poor they have no car or home. Some people literally live on the
streets. I worked in Mumbai, India about
15 years ago and I remember seeing people sleeping on sidewalks. I thought to myself the lucky ones had
mosquito nets.
I
also watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” during the Christmas season. In this movie, George Bailey dreams of doing
big things. He wants to design tall
buildings and great bridges but is stuck in his dreary hometown working the
family business. It is a daily grind
that continually wears him down.
My previous job was like that.
Have you ever had a job you hated but couldn’t leave? Well, I could have left that job but I didn’t
have another one. Believe me, I tried to
find different jobs. I tried for many
years. In all that time, only one job
was offered to me. Since it paid
substantially less, it wasn’t an option. We already struggled to make ends meet. Therefore, in opulent quit the job I hated. I have a wife and kids. I was resolved to work there until I retired
or died. Whichever came first, I was
committed.
For
nearly nine and a half years, I toiled in that pit of negativity. I gave up believing I would ever escape. I believed God wanted me there. I don’t know why but it seemed I was paying a
price for something. I was without hope.
Have
you ever struggled unceasingly with something day after day after day after day
after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day
after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day
after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day
after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day
after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day
after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day
but never overcame? After years of
beating your head against a wall, is it any wonder people give up? Nothing changes. You can never get what you want. No matter what you do, it-never-happens.
This
brings me to my comment about positive thoughts. When you are in despair and without hope,
positive thought quotes and memes fall on deaf ears. It is like showing a man dying of thirst a photo
of a tall glass of refreshing water. Since
it isn’t real, it doesn’t matter. If you
want help someone without hope, you must demonstrate to them you care. Words can be part of it but you better back
it up with action.
Normally,
I want to leave things on a positive note but life isn’t always like that. We’ve watched too many movies and TV shows
that ended with the hero winning again. We
live in a fantasy world. Life isn’t a
pretty present wrapped in a bow and all you have to do is open it. Life is best described as chasing that
present when it continually moves and is never there when
they say it will be there.
When
you open your eyes, you will see life is messy and often not pretty. That is where we must live. Life is between now and not yet and we must experience
the despair and hunger of that.
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