Shorties: Number 44

It started with his oldest daughter’s birthday.  Eugene remembered when the family watched home movies and her first birthday began to play on the television.  Eugene remembered this was during a time the family was in the process of moving and everyone was in their new home except Eugene.  He hadn’t been released from his old job yet.  His wife, Jenny, and Eugene smiled as they viewed an important slice of life. 

Eugene felt regret in his heart he missed that special day.  He was about to express his heart when he saw himself on the screen.  Taken aback, he looked at his wife who, in her peripheral vision saw his head abruptly turn to her, looked at Eugene with a smile.  She recognized his face reflected no pleasure.  She asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I was there?”

“Yes, of course you were.”

Often, Eugene forgot something but with a prompt, the connection was made in his brain and the memory returned to him.  This was not the case.  No hint of recollection was found.  The randomness with which memories were stored confused and aggravated Eugene.  Deep down, it frightened him.  He didn’t want to be someone who knew not his children or friends.  The prospect disturbed him greatly.  The day Jenny died, Eugene wished to recall every moment they shared.  More than anything, he wanted to hold onto them like precious pearls. 

It wasn’t until he speaking with a friend about his departed wife that Eugene found his recollections we’re always correct.  He found people correcting him about certain details of stories he told.  It angered him.  He began to pull into himself.  That is, until his doctor prescribed medicine that helped dementia and memory loss.  Eugene found there were improvements.  It wasn’t perfect but the fog seemed to leave his head. 

His heart broke again when he received the news his son died in combat.  Unlike when his wife died, many memories were true.  He found it all bittersweet.  He was happy to accurately remember his wife and son with his remaining daughter.  The final straw was the day after his daughter’s funeral.  Eugene bemoaned burying his wife and two children.  His daughter’s death was doubly cruel.  She and the baby died during childbirth. 

Eugene made up his mind.  He would never again take the pills prescribed by his doctor.  He would remain in the stupor of his mind.  He would forget.  Ignorance was better than knowing what really was and would never be again.