Vespertine

Those lovely walks vespertine

Side by side, your hand in mine
Lean on me, I’ll not proscribe
I’ll meet your lips and we’ll imbibe
 
© January 2018
Duane Windell Phillips

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Shadowing false gods

Welcomed within

Enticed by pretty eyes

Wholly burnt by sin

 

You are lost, duped soul

You thought you knew

Are brined to the full

Only blame is you

 

Simply lift up your eyes

And break the spell

Turn away from lies

Vacate your hell

Reposte

Every move you parry
And I feel so wary
Please begin to let me in
My purpose ancillary
 
I never see your heart
You only show a part
Don’t you know it hurts me so
Disengaging counterpart
 
Your openness a feint
And candidness did taint
Now let me be, so weary
So I leave, unconstraint

© January 2018

Duane Windell Phillips

2018 Untitled

A thought not given

A new way of livin’

Until we see the light

Don’t give in to fright

 

Stay the course

Lead the way

Ride the horse

Have your say

 

A mind that is prone

To go it alone

May change fill your soul

Let it be whole

 

© January 2018

Duane Windell Phillips

Shorties: Number 53

He just couldn’t any more.  Life had beaten the final glimmer of hope from his heart.  Darkness and emptiness filled his life.  Dejection and sorrow were constant companions.  Consequently, when Pam left, Dave acquiesced.  His heart was purged.  The pilot light was smothered.  The voices screamed how nice guys always finish last.  When Dave considered his existence, he agreed.  His lack of worth was proven again and again.  This last blow not only tipped the scales, it moved the fulcrum and forever changed him. 

Gone were the days of considering others.  They either ignored or walked on him anyway.  Being nice got him nothing in life.  Therefore, Dave resigned himself to spew heartbroken bitterness throughout his remaining years.  Life held no light for him.  If there was a god that granted miracles, he didn’t want to grant or sell them to Dave. 

As time passed as a grouchy old man, Dave realized a weakness he had.  He had no will to live but couldn’t bring himself to end it all.  Therefore, he determined to do what he could to speed up the process of dying.  He pursued unhealthy eating habits and refused to meet with his doctor.  When physical pain entered his life, he medicated with alcohol and over the counter drugs. 

In order to still to voices screaming in his head he began wearing earplugs while he slept.  This only increased the continual ringing.  As the clanging intensified, hearing loss increased.  Soon, he got exactly what he wanted.  No one could stand to be with him.  His family dismissed him as a crazy old man. 

Pushing people away, Dave fulfilled his prophecy that he was forgettable.  One by one they all left him.  No one bothered to love him.  That was what Dave actually wanted.  Even in the kindness displayed in his younger years, Dave wanted someone to genuinely love and care for him. 

Overweight and with a feeble mind and body, Dave inserted the earplugs out of habit before putting his head to pillow.  For an hour or more his mind churned.  Anger at god, the world and the cards he was dealt permeated his thoughts.  Dave waited for the sleeping pills to take effect.  Eventually, sleep found him but the ever conscious thought of why love never did replayed again in his dream.  That dream never was completed.  A blocked chimney allowed carbon monoxide to build up in the house.  It slowly crept into Dave’s room snuffing out the final ember.  It was two weeks before the body was found. 

Shorties: Number 52

Only a few paces later, balance was lost and Craig stepped onto a railroad tie.  Glancing to his left, Craig wondered if the couple on their romantic stroll saw him.  They only saw each other.  A heavy heart returned him to reality.  Tomorrow would be the first Christmas without his father and Craig felt it impossible to continue living.  If his mind was clear, he knew there was much for which to live.  Nevertheless, the darkness that settled on him since that horrible day never left. 

Maybe that was why he found himself walking the tracks.  He wanted to feel close to his dad.  Craig and his father used to walk on railroad tracks when they went fishing.  It was a contest to their fishing spot and on the return to see which could walk the furthest on their respective rails.  Craig learned early in these matches his balance was better when holding the fishing pole in his left hand.  His father never knew trick of his. 

How Craig longed tell the secret now.  If his father suddenly appeared, he would sit with his dad at the coffee shop across the street.  Mind racing, Craig saw it all.  “Dad, let’s get a cup of coffee.”  They would get their cups and sit at a table by the window or outside.  His father loved to watch people and he’d be able to watch many this day.  He could hear his father’s booming laughter at hearning this trick his only son learned at such a young age. 

Stepping up on the other rail, Craig began walking.  The first steps were awkward and he struggled to stay on.  Then he found a rhythm and whispered in a soft voice, “Dad, why’d you go?  Why’d you get sick?  God, why?  Dammit!”  Step, step, step.  Craig continued uttering random thoughts to himself.

“Life just goes on and the world doesn’t care.  I walk the rail just to maintain balance but my life has none.  I fell off long time ago.  My knees are skinned and my bones are upon the rocks.  Or is it coal?  Maybe that’s why I see black.  I’m face down in coal.  It can warm you but it darkens the world around you as it burns “

Craig lifted his eyes as he neared the crossroad.  The town Christmas tree stood tall and bright in the drab surroundings.  In the distance, he heard Christmas music playing and smelled fudge from the candy shop up the street.  The world still holds beauty for those with eyes to see.  It would be a long time before Craig’s eyes could open. 


It is my photograph too. 

Shorties: Number 51

Felipe sat in the chair that gave him full view of the large room where the wedding reception now in full swing.  The noise level pressed in upon his ears but he savored the moment.  Around the table were his wife, three kids, son-in-law and dear friends he hadn’t seen in years.  He marveled at their daughter, now a college graduate, who was a child the last time he saw her.

 

The meal was savory.  Felipe was beginning to feel his stomach reach the full mark but was tempted to finish the last few morsels on his plate.  It was about that time his oldest daughter stood and walked to the table where the bride and groom were seated.  As Matron of Honor, Breanna would give a speech and toast to the happy couple. 

 

While Breanna took the microphone and made humorous opening remarks, Felipe looked at the faces of those seated at the table.  He could think nothing other than he was blessed.  Each person there had touched his life in one way or another.  Once Breanna began her comments specific to the toast, Felipe turned his attention to his daughter.  When she finished, all in the hall raised their glasses and touched the glasses of those around him. 

 

Then he saw it.  His son, Paul, tried to touch the glass of his brother-in-law.  Instead, Greg took the glass from Paul, took a sip and returned it.  Felipe and his wife saw this and laughed aloud.  Paul rolled his eyes and laughed.  Paul was not pleased when Breanna and Greg began their relationship.  He was a very protective brother.  Greg loved Breanna enough to not only endure the open hostility Paul displayed, he reached out and worked to make a relationship with Paul.  Now the two were best of friends. 

 

After the cake was cut, it was time for the father of the bride to make a speech.  A company executive, Mr. Walls was at ease in front of an audience and worked the crowd for maximum result.  A loud hissing noise popped in the back of the hall.  Mr. Walls simply spoke over it.  Then the noise stopped and the speaker and audience relaxed.  Mr. Walls continued his talk using a humorous aside about the noise when it returned again.  Felipe’s wife remarked it sounded like a pressure cooker release valve going off.  Breanna commented she believed it was someone filling balloons with helium. 

 

One of the kitchen staff rushed to the kitchen and entered.  The door was still open when a flash and flame erupted from within the kitchen.  A fireball quickly rolled to the ceiling and spread out above the walls surrounding the galley.  Startled noises from the revelers began to fill the silence and those closest to the kitchen began moving away.  Felipe considered what he saw and instantly decided to wait to see what happened next.  The rush of humanity toward him changed his mind and he turned to open the garage door behind him. 

 

About this time the clanging of an alarm bell reached his ears but, focused on lifting the door prevented him from identifying to noise.  The door was quite heavy and not until a fourth and a fifth man started lifting the door did it finally start to move.  Once it was about chest high, Felipe ducked under the door and stepped outside.  While doing this, he surveyed the humanity around him to located his loved ones. 

 

There was no panic in the eyes of those he saw but each had varying levels of concern.  Felipe felt everyone would have been safe had they stayed but decided using caution and removing themselves from possible harm was the smart thing to do.  Everyone began moving down the sidewalk away from the wedding venue.  Excited voices filled the street as the crowd moved away.  They told on comers not to continue due to the potential danger ahead. 

 

The next fifteen minutes they waited for emergency vehicles to arrive.  Rumors circulated a worker in the kitchen was injured.  One young lady from the wedding party, instead of evacuating the building, ran upstairs to retrieve her personal belongings.  She told of how she was close to the flames as she went.  Breanna chided her former classmate.  Meanwhile, Breanna walked barefoot on the cold street and sidewalk.  She had removed her shoes while eating.  Her sister swapped shoes with her to help keep her toes warm. 

 

It was about this time, as he walked up and down the street offering his coat to anyone who needed warmth, Felipe saw some of the wait staff and inquired about the kitchen staff.  From the ferocity of the fireball, he feared serious injury to all in the room.  Thankfully, only one worker suffered burns on one arm as she shut the valve from the propane tanks. 

 

The evening ended in a meeting room at the hotel across the street.  As final touches were added to get the party restarted, the father of the bride greeted and thanked those who stuck around.  Then he added, “Now, what was I saying before?”

Note: other than name changes and a few minor embellishments, this story is true