Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Enticing: Final

Enticing:  Final

Keith and Sarah were married in a small church with few in attendance, which is what they wanted.  Only family and close friends received invitations.  They honeymooned on Mackinac Island, staying in the Grand Hotel and booked a honeymoon package with a lake view room.  They took carriage rides and rode bicycles around the island.  After 4 days on the island, they traveled to Tahquamenon Falls State Park and enjoyed the scenery.  Then they returned to real life.

Reality hit sooner than expected as Keith lost his job following to a downturn in the economy and his company closed its doors.  It was nearly a year before he gained meaningful employment.  Meanwhile, they both were grateful Sarah had not become pregnant since both wanted children right away.  They believed God knew what He was doing.  Through it all, they kissed when they greeted each other and when they parted. 

It wasn’t until two years later they began to believe something was wrong.  Sarah never became pregnant in spite of their efforts.  Frustration began to set in before they went to a fertility specialist.  After a battery of tests it was determined Sarah had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS).  She was unable to ovulate to produce an egg.  At first Sarah cried a lot.  Her emotions were raw for over a month and merely seeing a baby drove her to tears.  She crawled into a shell and refused to come out.  She didn’t want Keith to touch her and this deeply hurt him.  He wanted to comfort her and the rebuttals stung.  He felt helpless. 

Eventually, things came to balance and Sarah again found love in her heart.  They began to discuss adoption.  Meanwhile, they began helping kids in the local Boys and Girls Club and YMCA.  The kids called them “K and S, the kissing couple.”  It became a badge of honor to them.  Keith and Sarah called them their kids. With many of the kids coming from homes with single parents, they determined to instill in their kids the importance of being united as a couple.  When they mentored teens, they focused their energy into ensuring the young ones understood relationships were not something to be easily thrown away.  Also, it was important to be faithful to your partner.  The kids were always astonished to learn Sarah had once cheated on Keith.  Still, they appreciated seeing real examples lived before their eyes.  Keith and Sarah poured so much into their kids they never adopted. 

When Keith received the news of Sarah’s cancer, he simply sat in the chair in the doctor’s office and reached his hand to Sarah’s hand and took it into his.  He remembered the first time he held her hand.  She drove her car, shifting the gears, holding his hand.  “When the doctor finished giving the news, Keith said, “We’ve fought life before.  This is just another round.” 

The moment Keith watched Sarah slip to the beyond, he believed his life was over.  His heart shattered into a thousand pieces when they came to take her body.  He later didn’t remember them coming.  He simply noticed later in the day she was no longer in the bed.  Then a vague recollection of them coming and going crept into his overwhelmed mind. 

One by one, his kids began to call and stop by the house.  Keith cried anew with each one that visited or called.  He was too broken to care they were observing a grown man cry.  Several of his kids spoke at the funeral of how their lives were better because of Sarah.  In spite of his brokenness, Keith understood what a fortunate man he was.  He simply could not appreciate it.

Two years later, Keith was contacted by a local newspaper who was writing an article about the Boys and Girls Club.  It was during the face to face interview at the club that he saw a familiar face.  Ben, one of his kids, was helping the reporter.  The two hugged and in their few minutes together, got caught up on each other’s lives.  When the interview was completed, Keith returned to the house.  For the first time since Sarah died, he looked through photographs of his departed wife.

He gazed at each picture.  He studied each line and contour of her face.  It was all like he remembered.  A muted joy mixed with melancholy filled him.  He knew he was happy.  It didn’t hurt to remember.  He truly had something wonderful.  He had someone wonderful.  “Thank you, God”.  He said aloud.  “Thank you for telling this knuckleheaded guy this was a special lady and to give her a chance.”  He continued looking through pictures.  Keith remembered the day Sarah died.  She was as enticing then as the day he first saw her. 

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Enticing: Proposal

Enticing:  Proposal

As with any relationship, things were not always smiles and good times.  Keith and Sarah had difficulties.  Actually, it was more challenging than Keith imagined.  Even a year and a half later, that did not stop Keith from asking Sarah’s father for permission to marry Sarah.  

One night Keith dropped in unannounced at the house of Sarah’s parents.  Sarah was unaware of the visit.  They each had brought up the subject of marriage a few times and were both in agreement a long term relationship was something they wanted.  Still, thinking about it and taking steps in that direction are very different things.  After entering the house, Sarah’s mother stated Sarah was not expected that evening and was probably at her own apartment.  Keith replied he knew that and had a reason for visiting.

With more trepidation than he expected, Keith dove into the subject of marriage.  “Mr. Davenport…”

“Keith, you know to call me, Tom.”

“Yes, sir, I know.  Sorry!  Anyway, Sarah and me have talked about marriage a few time over the last couple months.  I’m ready to take the plunge and want to ask for your permission to marry your daughter, Sarah.”  He paused for the briefest of moments and added, “Please.”

Tom Davenport smiled and said, “Of course, you have my permission.  I am happy for both of you.  I appreciate your work ethic and believe you will provide for my little girl.”  Keith thought it odd he called Sarah his little girl but figured parents never see their children as grown.  He mentioned nothing about it.  He simply said, “Thank you.” 

It was decided Keith would return the following evening and propose after dinner.  Though he always felt he lacked romantic genes, Keith had privately written love poetry over the previous months.  He planned to read some of them to Sarah prior to popping the question.  

Though not Italian, Mrs. Davenport loved Italian food and regularly cooked various Italian dishes.  That night was her specialty:  Lasagna.  She also made a Greek salad and tiramisu.  She also set the table with china and had candles lit when Sarah arrived.  When she saw the dinner table set so elegantly, Sarah asked, “What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“China?  Candles?  What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion.  I just haven’t used this stuff since Christmas and felt like getting it out.  Can’t a lady class things up for her family?” 

“I guess but you know Keith isn’t family.”

Mrs. Davenport bit her lip to keep from saying, “Not yet.”

Keith arrived a few minutes later and dinner was scrumptious.  As dishes were being cleared before dessert, Keith asked Sarah to have a seat for a moment.  She sat in her chair with a perplexed look.  Keith pulled a spiral notebook that was partially obscured behind a planter and opened.  He opened it, looked at the handwritten words on the page, paused and then looked at Sarah.  “There is something I want to read to you.”

“Okay.”

Keith’s heart was pounding.  He never actually believed this day would come.  He was about to ask someone to marry him.  Haltingly, the words came out. 

“The Beauty I Behold

To look upon your visage
tis such a blessing.
To gaze into your eyes
such beauty I’m confessing

Fair maiden, goddess, beauty of the earth
do you esteem to me a measure of worth?

Tis for you I write
the beauty I behold
Thou worth outweighs the earth’s
treasures of finest gold”

Mrs. Davenport wiped a tear from her eye.  Keith continued:

“When I’m in your enjoyable presence
I meticulously study every line,
curve, and contour of your face
so when we’re apart your countenance
is so real and vibrant
I can smell and touch you in my mind’s eye”

Sarah remembered how Keith gazed at her when they were together.  Joy flooded her soul.  Had she ever been happier?

“Your presence is heaven
sheer exuberant joy
You enter the room and
winter turns to spring
The love you give calms my fear
and nourishes my fortitude”

Keith flipped a page in the notebook but looked up and said, “I have a couple more but I don’t think they are as good so I’ll just get to the point.”  With that, Keith went down on one knee in front of Sarah.  He put his hand in his pocket and abruptly stood and stuffed the hand deeper in to the pocket.  “Sorry, I couldn’t reach it.”

Then, again on one knee, he took Sarah’s left hand and kissed it.  He then placed the ring on her finger and asked, “Sarah Davenport, would you do me the honor of being my wife?”

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Enticing: New Beginning

Given Sarah’s admission, Keith felt stronger than expected.  Perhaps he was being guarded.  Perhaps, it was merely that he was taking a methodical approach.  Still, it didn’t hurt like he feared it would.  With step one complete, it was time to move on.  

“I don’t’ want to know who he is.  All I want to know is do you love him?”

Tears welled up in her eyes but she fought against them.  Keith tried to gauge what the tears meant.  Was she sorry for what she did or that she got caught?  Again, she was silent.  Her only sound was her sniffling nose.  Did she really have to consider if she loved this other guy?  Keith wondered, “Does she love me?  We haven’t used that word yet but does she love me?”

Finally, Sarah said, “No, I don’t love him.  I don’t really know why I did it.  I was being stupid, that’s for sure.  I do know that I’d rather be with you.  I suppose that isn’t possible now and I don’t blame you.  I completely understand if you never want to see me again.”  

She seemed genuinely repentant.  Keith believed it worth trying to continue the relationship.  “I’m willing to continue a relationship with you if you are.  If it was truly a onetime mistake and you won’t do it again, I’m willing to try.  I believe you are worth it.”  

Tears began to flow down Sarah’s cheeks as she leaned into Keith’s shoulder.  “How can you love me?  How can you after what I did?”

“I just do.  When I look at you I don’t see what you did.  I see what’s best in you.”

“Oh Keith, I love you.  I can’t believe you are giving me a second chance but am so grateful”. 

Upon hearing Sarah say, “I love you.” Keith’s spirit soared.  Taking her into his arms he said, “I love you, too.  We can make this work.”  They hugged and kissed and savored the moment. 
Upon reaching his apartment later that night, Keith texted James that his brother was correct.  James replied, “So ya sent the wench packing?” 

“No, we’re gonna make it work.”

“Are you on crack?”
“She cheated on you”

“She is genuinely sorry”

“So?”

“Shes not gonna do it again.”

“You dont no that”

“No 1 nos anything”
“I think shes worth it”

“I think your crazy”
“Once a cheater always a cheater”

“I appreciate you letting me no what she did but this is my decision.”
“Are u still my friend or not?”

“Yes but I WILL say I told you so when she cheats again.”

“Thx”
“You wont have to.”


Friday, March 18, 2016

Enticing: Investigation

Unsure of how to approach Sarah regarding the information received from James, Keith’s mind swirled.  For more than a day he oscillated between directly confronting her to completely ignoring the possibility she cheated on him to variations on each theme.  He briefly considered spying on her to learn the facts on his own.  In spite of the uncertainty, he knew he was not that obsessed. 

He was no saint but had never cheated on anyone.  Well, he and his brothers always cheated when they played cards or Monopoly.  It wasn’t a family game until someone cheated, got caught and an argument broke out.  The shouting got the attention of their parents who settled it but it was never actually settled since whoever was cheated determined to even the score. 

This time, the one who cheated wasn’t one of his brothers.  The alleged cheater wasn’t of the male sex.  This was beyond the scope of his experience.  He opened his laptop and Googled “What to do when someone cheats on you.”  He noticed the second option was from a British website about 5 questions to ask if the relationship is worth saving.  Keith clicked on it and read through the article.  It was a common sense approach and it soothed him.  He realized he was no closer to knowing where the relationship stood but believed he now had a game plan.  He would speak to her.  He would say someone told him what they saw and ask if it was true. 

What if she denied it?  Should he believe her?  Isn’t it natural for a cheater to lie?  Oh no, not this again.  Oh, the quandaries the human mind can conjure!  On their next date he would speak to her.  Based on what she says and how she reacts, he would determine his next steps.  He hoped she would admit her wrong if she did wrong.  He also prayed she would want to continue the relationship.  He felt they fit together quite well. 

On their date night, they went to her favorite restaurant, Fast Eddies.  Sarah smiled throughout the evening.  When Keith looked into her eyes, she gazed back at him.  He was searching for the clue of her infidelity.  She revealed none.  There was no way James’ little brother was right.  This woman was no cheater.  With the openness he saw in her eyes, she could not have done it.  He saw no way it could be true. 

After dinner, they strolled on the pier, holding hands.  They sat on a bench and watched another colorful Florida sunset.  Keith tensed as he faced the moment of truth.  Would he ask or not?  He would.

“I have something I have to ask you.”

Turning to look at him, she asked, “What is it?”

“I was told something kinda disturbing about you.  Frankly, I don’t believe it but it is serious enough I feel I have to at least say something.”  Sarah looked at him with concern.  Keith realized there was no turning back now. 

“Someone told me they saw you making out in your car with some guy.  Is this true?”

Sarah was struck dumb as her face reddened.  Her eyes broke from his and she looked at the wooden pier planks.  Her silence continued and Keith wondered if he needed to say something.  Finally, in a very quiet voice she replied, “Yes, it is true.”

Marionette of Pride

I am me and you will know me
Ignore the strings that guide me
For I will do on my own
I cry out as I cut a string
“I deserve better!”

I want what I want and it will be mine
Roving eyes see my objects
Craving madness consumes until I possess
I scream as I cut a string
“I deserve better!”

Me, yes me
I am driven to be
Ultimate, powerful, you will see
I demand as I cut a string
“I deserve better!”

You will not depart 
You are beneath
You will see how great I am
I rage as I cut the last string
“I deserve better!”

Ignore my crumpled state
You miserable imp
Watch my power and be awed
Motionless I lie
“I deserve better!”

Copyright 2016
Duane Windell Phillips 

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Enticing: Concern

Keith and Sarah happily dated for six months.  Both of them enjoyed their time together.  There was variety and spontaneity in their activities and Keith loved to gaze into Sarah’s eyes in their quiet moments.  If eyes are windows to the soul, he glimpsed a deep spring of beauty.  

Then came a time they would be apart.  Keith needed to travel across the state for his job to conduct a series of meetings.  Other than not seeing each other every few days, there was no difference. They spoke on the phone each night and texted during the day.   At least, that is what Keith thought.  He received some disturbing news when he returned. 

James called him the day after arriving home.  At first the conversation was small talk.  Then James got serious.  “There’s something I feel I gotta tell you but I don’t know how much stock to put in it.”

“Ok.”

“I mean, what I have to say isn’t firsthand information.  My little brother saw something and told me.  He isn’t sure but….”

Keith was completely unsure where the conversation was going and wondered what James was going to say.  “What?  What is it?”

“He said he saw Sarah making out with some guy in her car at the beach.”

It felt like someone punched Keith in the gut.  He felt life drain from him.  “Are you sure?”  Is he sure?”

“Like I said, he’s not positive but he saw someone who looked like Sarah in a car like she drives making out with some guy.”

“Any idea who the guy is?”

“No, no clue.  Look, I’m sorry I’m telling you this.  I debated for over a week about it now.”

“You mean it didn’t happen this past week.”

“No, no not at all.  Tim says it was about 2 weeks ago now.”

“What?  Wow!  Thanks.  Really, thanks for the call.”  After ending the call, Keith felt absentminded.  He was on autopilot, just going through the motions.  What should he do with this information?  Maybe it was nothing .  Could he continue the relationship as if nothing happened?  He knew he would be looking for clues.  Maybe nothing happened. Maybe it was nothing at all, just a big misunderstanding.   But why would James call.  He isn’t the type of person to raise concern like this needlessly.  Should he confront her?  If it was true, what then? 

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Enticing: Relationship

Enticing: Relationship

The whole day after the kiss, Keith’s spirit soared.  It was a high where he believed he would forever remain.  He wanted to call  Sarah first thing in the morning but held back.  Imagine his joy when he received a text from her.

“I’ve been at work for a couple hours now but can’t get going.  Been thinking about you.  Have a great day!”

That sealed it.  He was in love.  How long had it been?  He thought back to his last serious relationship.  It had been 13 months since he ended his last relationship to begin his current job.  Unfortunately, the move would require a long distance relationship.  Keith and Rebecca both agreed it best to break it off.  Keith believed she was ready to break up anyway.  The move made it convenient.

Over the next month, Keith wondered if he was more into the relationship than Sarah.  That was until a day she surprised him at his job.  She stopped by, unannounced, to have lunch with him.  She asked the receptionist for directions to his office which she received.  Keith was in the hallway when he saw her walking toward him.   Upon seeing each other, they both broke out into big smiles.  In Keith’s eyes, she was a vision of beauty.  If only he could write poetry.  Surely, someone as beautiful as Sarah deserves to have something written about her.

When Keith returned from lunch with Sarah, Angie stopped by his office.  With a knowing smile she asked, “So, who was that?”

Keith didn’t look at her as he busied himself with starting up his computer.  Hoping not to give fuel to the office gossip he simply replied, “That is Sarah Sullivan.” 

“So, how long you two been an item?”

“We’ve been going out for about a month now but I don’t know that we’re an item.”

Not convinced, Angie replied, “Really?”  She crossed her arms and stared at him.

Keith finally looked up and saw her posture.  She clearly wanted something more but he simply commented, “What?”

“I saw the way the two of you both lit up like Christmas trees.  There is obviously something there.”

Keith smiled at the thought of he and Sarah being in a serious relationship.  In his heart, he had held back since it all seemed too good to be true.  He looked at Angie with a grin and simply said, “Okay!”  Then he put his focus back on his computer screen.  Angie stood for a moment then stormed back to her office. 

Break free

A couple quotes hitting me today Our acts can be no wiser than our thoughts. Our thinking can be no wiser than our understanding. George S C...